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(93) The cheetah, the penis and the wrong Batman + links

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  • Before I get all upset and sweary regarding new Batman, let's get everything else out of the way.
  • We have new The Counselor trailer. I really like the song, which apparently is Awolnation - Sail, which is 3 years old but it's the first time I'm hearing it. I don't live in a cave or something, but the only music I listen to is Lana Del Rey, soundtracks and everything that I think sounds like it could be heard on the streets of small cities of Louisiana and Ireland. The other music playing in previous trailers was much darker and energetic, so I dug that but Sail makes the trailer feel really elegant and somewhat sinister. I like the trailer mostly because we got to see more of Cameron Diaz. She is going to be awesome in this and I love her earrings, her hair style and eye make up, so that's a big plus too. I also love that Bardem is visibly scared shitless of her when she tells him about axe going through the door. My favorite moments shown so far is from the previous trailer, the frantic shot of Malkina on the car:
  • Today it was announced the movie will be rated R which makes me think we won't see the car scene actually play out, because that would give the movie very justified NC-17 rating.
  • This is how huge Breaking Bad is - Dean Norris, who plays Hank, is in this trailer for a second and people go nuts. The movie also features Natalie Dormer in a small, but fun role.
  • Speaking of Natalie, it was announced that she joined the cast of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay. She will play Cressida "a Capitol director who joins the rebellion to film propaganda shorts about Katniss in order to energize the rebels." Well, I do hate The Hunger Games, but I will see that just for her.
  • Marion Cotillard replaced Natalie Portman in new Macbeth movie where Fassy will play Macbeth. This is just superb. Portman is way too innocent and well, childish, to pull this off and Marion plays wonderful villains, The Dark Knight Rises aside. Let's just hope Fassbender stays on board of this one.
  • Some new photos emerged from Long Walk to Freedom. Are they serious with this make up? This is worse than J. Edgar. It's not about it being old age make up - it's about it being a ridiculous, horribly fake old age make up. It's as if someone shat on Mona Lisa.
  • Speaking of Idris, he has new movie lined up called Beasts of No Nation. Apparently it's based on the book. That is the extent of my knowledge on that subject.
  • Rambo is getting a TV series and James Franco will have his own reality show. This is the penalty for the sins of this world.
  • Things took turn for the worse this week as my studying of pointless bullshit I forget after 3 days anyways legal acts is now taking more hours a day than I actually spend on sleeping. I haven't even seen new Breaking Bad yet. It's a great show but it's not like Game of Thrones where I would literally have to see new episode live no matter what was going on the day after, and when it airs it's the middle of the night here. 
  • There are actual paragraphs about bee hives in the civil law code. This is a fucking nightmare.
  • Meanwhile, Gustav has spent all week long being extra friendly to people. Normally he just jumps on them and wiggles his tail when they pet him but lately he started taking it to another level. As soon as someone starts playing with him he turns over on his back and lies there as if he was in porn movie, waiting for someone to rub his tummy. I used the phrase "stop exposing yourself to strangers!" 10 times this week alone and it's only Friday. He also refuses to sleep on his bed and finds all sorts of possible spots to take a nap on.
  • The only film I managed to see this week was We're the Millers. I gave it 5/10 since it was only slightly amusing and forgettable. Kathryn Hahn and Nick Offerman rescued the movie. Emma Roberts sucks so much, I hope her character dies somewhere in the beginning of new American Horror Story. It's bad enough she got the job because of her boyfriend but in addition she is also a terrible actress.
  • Last week I had a dream with Alexander Skarsgard and me taking a shower together. This week I had a dream Mads Mikkelsen tried to eat me. Literally. Still, it's preferable to me having dreams where I read legal acts. That is just psychotic.
  • Let's talk about True Blood finale. This is the new definition of stupid. You ask me to define stupid, I'll screen you that finale. Good Lord, it's like the writers dropped more acid than usual while writing this one. Time jumps, making pointless villain even more pointless and dumb, Bill writing a book, vampire volleyball, fucking hell!
  • Wait, it gets better - the finale was so bad that it even managed to ruin Alexander Skarsgard'sfull frontal nudity. Seriously. First of all - you use that moment to do some stupid cliffhanger whether or not he lives or dies? Second of all - you ruin that cliffhanger 2 days later when you have the writer state Eric is alive and obviously human intelligence - which the writers of this show do not have - tells you they simply didn't know if Skarsgard will come back to do that shitty show next year so they shot it just in case and now it's just a lame ass cliffhanger with no tension and no logic? Third of all - Eric actually fucking flown to Sweden with a lounge chair and a book to sunbathe naked on top of the mountain? Fourth of all - you just know that the fan theory that to prevent burning any more Eric buried himself in the snow will not be half as retarded as whatever the writers will eventually come up with to solve that fiasco.
  • And what is up with all those people complaining his penis is uncut? I'm European. It's normal here. That is what we see around here. I don't mean guys with their dicks out on the streets, but you know what I mean. This is how the Lord intended it. Let's just be glad we saw it and pretend it was under different circumstances in much less moronic show.
  • In really bad news, Paul W.S. Anderson is ready to unleash new shit on this world and it's called Pompeii. The fact that Jon Snow aka Kit Harington is in it is not that shocking, he only does crappy stuff outside of Game of Thrones. But what the hell happened to Emily Browning's career? She is better than that. Unfortunately she is in it, so I'm gonna have to watch this one. 
  • In another really bad news we have a new Batmanand it's one of the worst casting decisions in a long while. It's Ben Affleck. Had they chosen Gosling or Brolin it would have been bad, but Affleck? The people behind this movie should really hang out with True Blood writers since they are both taking potentially fun things and ruining them with their terrible decision making. With Snyder as a director there was a slim chance the film will be good but with Darefuckingdevil as Batman?
  • Again let me fall into the state of shock and amazement that things like that happen when Idris Elba and Richard Armitage exist and would probably be up for playing the part.
  • This decision is so catastrophic it once again knocked Affleck to the pit of ridicule. He won people's hearts in Oscar season and now he is back into Gigli category. The only positive here is that if the film is worse than Batman & Robin maybe Joel Schumacher will finally catch a break. I really can't believe Affleck took the part. He is back in the ridicule town, perhaps permanently. Taking a part of iconic character is always risky because nerds are truly passionate and unstable - look at me, I'm not even planning on seeing this movie in theater and yet I bitch about it. Even if actor is right for the part people complain but when he is wrong - and a huge step down from previous actor who played the character - things go crazy. I mean there is already a petition to choose another actor for Batman instead of him.

  • links:
    • Ruth wrote an amusing post that contains the examples of outrage Affleck casting created 
    • Meanwhile, Nick and Keithdefend the casting.
    • MettelRay shares very cool intro to The Newsroom
    • Jack did an appreciation post for Andrew Garfield and his work in Never let me Go
    • in his awesome In Character series, Alex features wonderful James Cromwell
    • Eric and Brittani review Magic Magic
    • m.brown reviews The Wolverine
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