(95) 50 shades of Charlie you've made a huge mistake + links

I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey. I'm not interested in something that is apparently badly written and preys on what teenage chicks think is porn. But it does look like it can be made into one of my favorite types of movies - so bad that is is fucking funny.

Dakota Johnson was cast as the main chick, I do not know who she is and I only barely remember her 30 seconds of screen time in 21 Jump Street. What's very odd is that someone relatively famous and not horrible took the part of Christian Grey - Charlie Hunnam. Granted, Hunnam is not a very good actor, but he seems like a nice person so it's a shame his career won't survive starring in that joke. I mean this thing is basically Twilight fanfic. Robert Pattinson who is a good actor will probably never escape his beginnings, so I'm certain Hunnam won't. You guys should read this article on Bret Easton Ellis and some of the madness that surrounds 50 Shades, this is all fairly surreal, especially that Ellis is a fan of this crap. Also - Hunnam is on Sons of Anarchy. My God. Those bikers are gonna kill him.

Check out this hilarious new poster for Thor The Dark World. Natalie!

While we are at unintentionally hilarious matters, Tyler Perry was cast in David Fincher's film Gone Girl. What the hell.

I have not seen any films this week but I did watch the roast of James Franco on my birthday, because it features a lot of people I love and it looked like it could be funny. It really was and what made it even funnier was seeing Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen and Bill Hader crying from laughter. The whole thing was truly epic and it only made me love everyone involved, well except for Franco, more. Hader's line about Franco being on the road to killing several people in forest fire while trying to make an experimental Vine video made me laugh so hard I actually had to pause it for a minute. Franco's 90-year old grandma was there, laughing at the dick jokes. That's badass!

We had a lot of new posters this week. First, the official poster for American Horror Story: Coven is absolutely incredible. But why the fuck is this twit Emma Roberts mentioned on it and not Frances Conroy? This is an outrage. What's even a bigger outrage is the awful poster for The Counselor. Are they kidding with that? I would do a better job at making the poster on my birthday and I was falling down drunk.

And here's new, fairly horrifying teaser for Coven:

Here are some unofficial posters for season 4 of Game of Thrones. I think someone not associated with network made them but they are so good HBO should think about using those.

Speaking of, the cast continues to party hard - they even brought young Sophie Turner with them! There are also some new photos of the amphitheatre where the big trial by combat will be shot. This is going to be like Gladiator level of fucking awesome. The thing you can see in the circle is House Martell banner. Even my photoshop skills couldn't enhance it better but it looks really nice. It's a yellow spear going through black sun on red background.

While we are on the subject of awesome people in TV series, Aaron Paul is an actual gift from God for humanity. He is such a super nice dude. He takes photos of himself with people who deliver him pizza, he tweets with his fans, he calls people bitch when they ask him to. So cool. Dean Norris is also on twitter and he too is hilarious.

We got new trailer for Gravity, which is actually the first trailer for that movie I liked. Looks very intense. Another trailer that premiered wasn't as much of a trailer as the mixed footage from Under the Skin. Well it looks like the movie and the book will have 2 maybe 3 scenes in common, but the trailer has great cinematography and really creepy score so I can't wait.

Speaking of Scarlett Johansson, Venice film festival brought a mixed bag of news for her male fans. On one hand, I've heard from many people she does full frontal nudity in Under the Skin so that's gonna make everyone happy. On another - she is engaged. I'm sure nudity will make up for that, though.

I've been catching up with Archer because I need a lot of comedy in my life right now and it's such a hilarious series. Hell, even Bryan Cranston had a guest appearance in season 3!

Speaking of - Cranston is NOT going to play Lex Luthor. Thank God, we are back to the state where I do not need to see this movie.

So I had another dream where I was running from Mads Mikkelsen because he tried to eat me. What's the disturbing part of that sentence and that dream? The running from part. Seriously, he is so fucking hot.

I figured I'm having those borderline psychotic dreams because I didn't finish the first season of Hannibal, so I'm catching up, very slowly though, because it's disturbing as fuck as whenever I see him I just hear Nine Inch Nails's Closer in my head and I'm rooting for him to eat everyone.

The work on season 2 already began and today Bryan Fuller posted this. God bless you, sir.

I also plan on seeing more of his movies, my friend recommended Royal Affair but I heard something about execution and Von Trier is the producer, so I can't handle that shit right now. Recommend me something, he can even play someone incredibly creepy IF at any point of the film he is shirtless.

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