(168) it's all Goode + links

This may be shorter than usual cause I have so much work to do nowadays that I'm typing page after page every day and I can barely type anymore. To give you a rough estimate I usually have about 20 cases and this month I have 34. Yeah you won't be seeing much of me in February.

Of course most of the cases are divorces. Several months in and I can tell you that about 1 out of 10 of those is because of woman's actions. Everything else is the guy. Drinking. Beating his wife up. Cheating on her and leaving her with the kids to support, then arguing that 300 bucks for food for his kids is too much even though he takes his lover out to fancy places. Is it any wonder that I think most men are just such shit? Oh I'm still a romantic, but truly, I think it is a miracle to meet a guy who is actually decent.

I really don't want to complain, but I'm kinda...peeved about the amount of feedback on my recent reviews. It's not easy to type all of this after you type and type and type for most of your day.

Have any of you heard - or better yet are attending Sundance and saw - The Witch? It sounds absolutely amazing and it's getting killer reviews. There is only one or two good movies about witches in existence out there so I'm psyched for this.

Seeing how I saw everything that seemed interesting with Mark in it and I had no desire to watch anything bleak (all the movies with him I have yet to see look seriously depressing) I decided to mix it up a bit and I saw Leap Yearthis week.

Exactly.

It was so stupid but it was also insanely cute. Every kind of romantic situation where you go 'owww' happens in that movie. And it's set in Ireland. And Matthew Goode plays a guy who cooks. That was perfect.

Speaking of I hear he is on Downton Abbey and The Good Wife now? I really wanted to continue watching The Good Wife but it has way too many episodes for me to catch up plus it's a legal drama and my whole life is basically a never ending, excruciating legal drama so I'm just gonna see episodes with him in it.

I mean really, I can barely watch 1 or 2 shows now and it takes me so long to actually finish a season. When I say I'll be dead before I'll get to see Sherlock series 2 and beyond I mean it. It may take years for me to get around to watching it. I'm literally this busy.

I forgot last week to mention how amazing Parks and Rec was. That episode with Ron telling Leslie the truth? Oh my God. That was incredible. In a huge plot twist I had no time to see this week's episodes of the show.

In another huge plot twist we got first season 5 trailer for Game of Thrones and there is almost no Stannis in it except for the short moment where he is standing in front of a fire and we see his back. Gee, thanks HBO!

However! We did get this!

You know what would be worse than really not having Stoneheart in the show? Giving her material to freaking Sansa (she annoys me so much). I don't even know what I'd do if they did that.

I cannot believe they still didn't upload the trailer and we have to watch bootleg version. Cheap fucks.

What the hell is wrong with Charlize Theron? Not only is she still with Sean Penn but now he is adopting her son.

Speaking of stupid:

I cannot decide whether this is funny or sad that he does not realize he is describing himself. There was also this story on the news of Depp having a cold and showing up in Japan one day late to promo thing for that shit movie. Depp said he was attacked by Chupacabra and then started doing Mortdecai impression. It was so embarrassing and cringe worthy I felt as if my soul died a little bit while watching that. He is like a bad clown at the kids party now. He is literally turning into Willy Wonka. That is f Willy Wonka left his family for some blonde bimbo.

Rutina Weasley was cast as Reba in Hannibal. Not only is she a terrible actress but this casting makes no sense."Reba McClane to be a blind woman with hair "a mixture of wheat and red-gold". Then there's the fact that Reba's similarity to the woman in the painting is important. Will Fuller now change William Blake's painting to have a black chick there? And here I was so excited for this season. This part could have been so good but they just mangled it beyond belief. Idris Elba as Bond - that's a good choice. This is just awful. She cannot act. Just think of all those scenes with her quivering chin on True Blood. My God. Of course I've been called a racist because of my opinion on this because God forbid a book character is faithfully represented on screen and played by a talented actress instead of being made into yet another creation with the sole purpose of appealing to mass hysteria of pseudo progressive 'it's racist unless there's a black character everywhere' aggressive hipsters.

Here's a little something - if you ever wondered what the definition of "God's work" was, look no further:

Film-makers Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett said that Dan Stevens’s shirtless scene was one of the most important scenes in the movie because they knew it was going to be a major selling point and a sure-fire trailer shot and they spent more time shooting this scene than any other. Director Adam Wingard said that he “wanted to sexually objectify and fetishize Dan Stevens’ shirtless body” in this shot as it went with the playful nature of the movie where the audience was subversively being asked to ogle at body of the bad boy character. The film-makers scheduled that scene as late as possible because they wanted Stevens’ body in “optimum condition”. In preparation for that scene, Stevens shaved his chest and tanned his body so that all his muscle definition could be seen. In addition, Wingard said that to deepen the muscle definition even further, the trainers had Stevens do a trick where “he did not consume any food or water for a day, and then just before the shot, he drank a diet coke and did 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups”. This tightened up his muscles and made his veins stand out giving him the super-ripped appearance that the film-makers wanted. The shot was then subsequently used in all the trailers and publicity materials for the film.

Well done, good sirs!

Apparently not only did Tom O'Neil accidentally reveal the extent of Eddie Redmayne's pathetic Oscar desperation but also badmouthed Michael Keaton saying that he is rude and not popular in Hollywood. This is really low. This is the kind of people Redmayne associates with. He is seriously beating Hathaway in the begging for Oscar race.

I went to the health food store this week.

They had berries that cost 12 bucks there. Fucking berries for 12 bucks! I can afford to buy these but I'd rather cut off my own arm than become a person who spends 12 bucks on berries.

I just got some soy stuff and got the hell out of there.

I also saw A Walk Among the Tombstones this week. It is now occurring to me that I don't have the best opening credits category in my Best of. Anyways had I have that category and saw that movie prior to making the list these opening credits would win easily. They are incredible and so creepy. The whole movie had pretty great atmosphere and casting Stevens and Holbrook as brothers was inspired, plus it's always cool to see Neeson having something to do other than punching people in the throats. But Ruth Wilson actually shot scenes for this film and they got cut. That's just mad.

Brittani reviews The Skeleton Twins

Andrew trashes Boyhood in a glorious way

Ruth lists 7 films screening at Sundance she is most curious about

m.brown reviews Paddington

Alex lists top 20 movies that lost Sundance

Irene reviews Gillian Flynn's book Dark Places

MettelRay reviews terrific Laggies which I highly recommend

Thaddeus wrote a great review of Guardians of the Galaxy

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