(249) My brakes are broken lately, baby + links

Welcome to RF, or as we should start calling it the unholy union of my two friends - perversion and insanity as I take my readers through the journey so disturbing the only way out is to drive off the fucking cliff as I so eloquently illustrated above.

As you will be reading this you will probably think oh my God, she went nuts. Let me at least show you this. This is my job. I did 80 cases in 5 days. I think everything I carried today was around 70 pounds. People who worked in this courthouse for years literally came by my office today to see the stacks of files. They couldn't believe I did this much in one week, let alone during holidays.

I came home exhausted.

(these 5 next bullet points were written last, after everything else was ready because something major happened:)

So here I sit, 15 minutes ago sipping my drink. And then I see this.

Get on my twitter to see all the madness but here is selfie of me reacting to this.

There has been quite a bit of shitstorm between Jared and WB lately. But him being signed on their precious baby means this is probably them making a peace offering and wanting to bribe him this way. Don't care what the reasons are because JARED LETO IS GONNA BE IN ONE FUCKING MOVIE WITH HARRISON FORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just....I am just....just don't shave your eyebrows! And don't think you are a robot in your method acting!

Again though because let's just think of this - Jared Leto. Harrison Ford. Two men I'd die for, probably. In one fucking movie. Can you imagine the press tour? Both of them there? OH GOD.

(now let's back up to what was written before this happened, as I sit here and try to calm myself and remember if I die now I won't live to see the movie)

So on last Friday I made 4 decisions...

1. Rewatch Alexander.

2. Choose 210 min long edition.

3. Get mad drunk.

4. Livetweet it.

Not sure which one of those was the worst decision.

However bad you remember that movie to be, it is worse. Poor boo unicorn God had to say shit like this:

Also my crazy - firing up on all cylinders lately. The Alexander livetweet started innocent:

and then 10 minutes in took a predictable turn:

I have absolutely zero idea what the hell I was on about here:

Still my wit brought it.

Then it's gotten close to marriage proposals. Again:

People were straight up worried

the time to worry was during Urban Legend watch the next day. I am not shitting you this is one of the less crazy tweets:

Just....too far gone.

I of course passed out during Alexander and didn't finish it so far - just an awful movie. Urban Legend I had to stop an hour in because apparently a certain TV actor who shall remain nameless because fuck him I ain't giving him clicks disrespected Jared on his twitter. Naturally I had to deal with that and tell him exactly where his career will be soon.

I also called him a glorified extra.

And a bitch.

I finished the movie the next day and it was pretty good! And Jared's character didn't die! Usually in those horror flicks only the main chick lives to the end but I'd like to think people realized he is literally too gorgeous to kill off.

Then I saw Jared's documentary Artifact which was about the legal battle between record label EMI and Jared's band. It was such a cool documentary and it was really informative on how unfair to the artists the music business and record labels are. I mean I had respect for the guy before but this? Him putting such a fight and risking everything and then releasing the documentary? Amazing. Also he is so funny. And there are bits like him getting a Christmas tree and literally finding the ugliest one out there.

This entire ~~paragraph~~ post is just me drawing hearts, isn't it?

On Moday I rewatched Panic Room. I forgot what's gonna happen to his character so the denial was strong.

What is up with Fincher messing up Jared's face in his movies?!

By Tuesday things started getting legit weird:

I took a selfie of myself when 30 Seconds to Mars song started playing on the radio in the office. This is truly the face of madness.

So Courtney linked me this and what followed in my apartment was just loud squealing and screaming. DO THIS JARED!!!!

Here's Jared attempting to dance during Camp Mars last weekend.

He twerked! Mother of God he twerked!

Every time I see this picture I just shout the iconic phrase from Aliens (and can people stop sending/linking me this shit by the way? Don't you people wanna live?). There was allegedly Miley, Lindsay and Paris but this would somehow be worse.

Don't ask me what I was googling there but I found this:“I’ve been a porn actress for three years and Jared was the most I ever had to work with. There’s definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work.” – Corina Taylor on having sex with Jared Leto.

Porn actress? Jesus Christ, what else did he put it in? The wood chipper?

On the other hand, could a normal girl handle Jaredconda? Maybe these are the only ones who you know, are not at the risk of....you know? Bone Tomahawk?

I know, I should have stopped before writing that movie reference which now given you vivid mental images had you seen the film, but my brakes are broken lately, baby.

I mean if this series of posts was always a bit like a drunk driver behind the wheel but lucid enough to care if the car doesn't crash ever since I looked into Jared's eyes during Conan show and heard him speak and was astonished this quirky guy I remembered from 2014 Oscar season was so calm and collected, and he did that cute laugh it was no longer just "oh, this guy is an eccentric, I wonder what he will say!", it's as if I just let go of the wheel and yelled "fuck it!".

I can't explain it. I mean usually someone I just start obsessing over is just an actor. But Leto is great vocalist too. It's everywhere. My music I listen, the movies I watch. And I love defending people who were mistreated and just look what WB did. This whole thing is totally taking my mind off shit in RL and it gives me opportunity to watch movie again - I was so depressed lately and thanks to Jared I've seen what? 3 movies in a week? That's more than I saw whole last month. I actually fucking feel stuff other than fear these days. it probably sounds crazy to people who don't really know what has been going on with me lately but this? This distraction helps. That is one hell of a distraction.

He is inspiring too. He literally does and says what he wants and doesn't care. So I'm trying that one myself *she wrote surrounded by 80 legal acts she worked on in just last week*. Well accordingly, at least.

SlayLeto strikes again.

And finally, no mercy.

You've probably seen the headlines Jared said F you to WB. A few days back someone on SHH forum quoted a post from tumblr that Jared said during Camp Mars that he feels tricked etc. about Squad. I follow the person on tumblr who wrote that. It turned out that someone who has relatively big website - Batman News - posts there too and saw our posts about it and that tumblr account of a fan ended up being the subject of their "news" article - the first posted on that "story". So basically the guy used the tumblr story of a fan using her impression of what Jared meant when he was saying things and posted it. Then of course all the other outlets posted it, sites like cinemablend and ign. In the attached video when asked about what his thoughts are that WB doesn't allow him to do any rock-climbing (Jared loves that) he said "fuck them". Jared throws F word around a lot so it was a joke, a harmless one but it was of course used as clickbait "Jared says F u to WB!".

What the hell is journalism even? People taking impressions of someone from tumblr as news and just massively spreading it around. So stupid.

OK so Depp is no longer just Ibiza off the wagon into the dumpster drunk.

He is now writing messages in blood and paint while cutting off pieces of himself, literally drunk, which I seriously didn't even know was the phase that existed.

And it's time to abandon any team because these people are legit fucking insane. It's like trailer trash documentary this week. I am half expecting to see the video of Depp raping a goat while killing a hobo when I wake up. I mean they settled, but come on. She probably has many videos as insurance.

Also - worst lawyers ever.

First we had the video of Depp treating kitchen cabinets horribly and pouring himself the biggest fucking glass of wine I've seen in my entire life.

But then it got worse.

So you are telling me there are worse things to do while drunk than to livetweet ultimate cut of Alexander (and sit through it)?

If that is true then what the hell is he drinking? Gasoline? I had wine and shots on Friday and yet I hurt only my brain, liver, ovaries and heart which broke every single time the beauty boo unicorn was on the screen...but my fingers are FINE.

Seriously how fucked up and on what does one have to be to do this?

Billy Bob Thornton is freaked out. I'd be too. You run Billy, you run from this shit.

Also can people stop insulting the good conniving name of Amy Dunne and comparing Heard to her?

So remember how I suggested Idris Elba was the one who made sure Hiddles hooks up with TayTay to wreck his chances of being Bond? Now Idris is attempting to show the world he is fearless and saying stuff like that, in phase 2 of his plan to become Bond. This is overplaying your hand, man. This is straight up Tony Stark giving the terrorists his home address in Iron Man 3 levels of no-no. You run too, man. Follow Billy Bob on his bitches be crazy trail.

Tom Hiddleston looks like he aged 10 years in 2 months. When asked about Swift he gave a nonsensical answer. Who the hell talks like this of a parner?

Another bitch. Also after his dick pics leaked there are now comments about it under every post about this guy and I sit here like, why? Seriously? Why? Why would anyone notice something so small in the world where this exists?:

Just any excuse to post this footage, really.

Tay donated $1 mil to help people of Louisiana who are now facing this horrible flood. Normally I'd be like yes, that's great! Louisiana is magical protect it! and that would be it but not now. Because you people keep sending me that pic of her and Jared the only thing I can think of is that this is a ploy because Jared IS from Louisiana.

This wholeBirth of no Nation situation is just gross.

Not only does Amy Schumer exists, now she has written a book entitled Chipmunk with a tramp stamp. Bitch if that sex tape leaked, no one would watch it. Unless some truly sick fuck would use it to torture people with.

Brittani,Keith and FlickChicks review Suicide Squad

OntheScreenReviews lists Best Soundtracks of All Time

Dell features amazing Killer Joe in the picks for Crime Gone Wrong movies

Flixchatter ranks Bourne villains

Jordan reviews Bad Moms

I know I kinda linked it already last week but m.brown's review of Squad is something to behold. He is the only one smart enough in our entire blogosphere to act like he is being taken hostage (by me) when talking about Leto. The day of judgment will come for the rest of y'all.

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