There's a wonderful tradition over at the most entertaining blog out there - Mario's TwoDollarCinema - where our dear Mario hosts Mt. Rushmore blogathon for President's Day.
In a shocking twist, in the years past I honored my favorite men - both real and fictional. And in an even more shocking twist this year is not gonna be an exception.
To participate, simply choose the top four of anything cinematic and explain why they should be carved into the side of a mountain forever. Remember, these are real people carved into imaginary rock - so choose wisely!
This year is really funny because while it's a given my entry is gonna be a perverted mess, from what I've seen so far every single person who contributed to Mario's blogathon this year made a truly kinky contribution. We now go to Mario for his reaction:
I actually almost wanna pull a surprise and be the only one who makes a normal post. But nah, the gifs and my beautiful words are ready.
As we all know there are no limits to what I will put myself through to watch an actor I like. I should have my own show where I just watch all of that trash. Because I do. Lovingly. Persistently. Repeatedly. The stuff I watched for Jason Momoa? I'm pretty sure even his wife didn't watch all of this.
And here I go again....vagina first into a dumpster.
What should be carved on the mountain? The proof of my love. Or my brain cells and dignity lost.
So here are the dumbest films I've seen - mind you, all of them in the last two weeks or so - in order to marvel at Blue Eyed Boo (yes, we finally have a boo name!). Also I do not watch stuff where he was younger than 24 cause even for me that's just creepy.
It's not a terrible movie but it is not nearly as good as the first one. However, considering that there is a plot point I'm about to discuss it belongs in dumb movies group.
What makes it dumb? There's a scene where a bunch of girls throws Zac out of the house. This would never ever happen. In any of the known universes. We are all probably gonna ovulate harder than usual when watching him as Ted fucking Bendy so no, no one would ever ask this man to leave.
Standout scene? Seth teaching Zac how to boil eggs. I was in tears.
Hottest moment? That.Fucking.Dance
This had seriously awful trailer but it turned out to be a very entertaining comedy. If there is one thing that without fail always make me laugh it is a grown ass man yelling like a little girl and Adam Devine did that like a pro throughout this movie.
What makes it dumb? Zac actually needed to post an ad to find a date. He probably has tons of panties thrown at him whenever he walks outside BUT SURE HE NEEDED TO POST AN AD.
Standout scene? The series of horror images Mike endures is....quite a sequence
Hottest moment? This shit right here.
So I thought this is gonna be terrible since even our Blogathon host Mario didn't like this - and this stars his favorite Alexandra Daddario - but I had pretty good time watching this movie. Both times I've seen it. In a week's time. The Rock and Zac had awesome chemistry and there were few gags that were very funny, especially miniature Dwayne in the aquarium.
What makes it dumb? Well...to be honest? Everything.
Standout scene? The morgue scene. Oh God.
Hottest moment? Zac being tied up and gagged. I know. There's no hope for me.
Good God almighty. There are no words.
What makes it dumb? I think this film actually transcended awfulness and stupidity and reaches some higher sort of....nightmarish level. I mean there's Zac's bare ass....BUT AT WHAT COST?
Standout scene? There are two instances in this movie where Zac's character gets arrested and every time he gets out, he is wearing leftover clothes from the orgy in the 90's. And both times it's incredible.
Hottest moment? Zac dances to Macarena, completely naked, save for a stuffed hornet toy on his penis.
And now let's start being very afraid of what I will post next year.