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I realized recently that I don't remember much from Stranger Things so I decided I will rewatch it. But me being me, the plan was to only rewatch season 2. So I did that and then I rewatched season 1.

Literally nothing in my life makes sense.

First let me just say I am beyond livid CancelFlix is dropping season 3 on a Thursday. Exactly why is American audience favored over the rest of the world? So when I am in the office, working for 8h like an idiot, people in USA who have the day off can already start and probably finish the season? By the time I drag my tired ass home y'all probably finished watching it. Then I maybe manage to watch 2 episodes before going to bed and work the next day and then I am going to see Midsommar so I probably won't be done watching it until late on Saturday.

Netflix you better announce that you lured Keanu to star in your first ever feature film porno, because I am furious with you.

Second of all, they desperately need to fix the women situation. Bad enough there are all those shitty tales and blind items about set and what is going on with Mille (fuck off, Drake), but Joyce constantly gets heartbroken, Max and El only interacted so far in an awful and hostile way and they had Nancy hook up with Jonathan only after the audience warmed up to Steve.

Thank God things look better for El and Max in promo for season 3:

The only two female characters I am not cringing at are Lucas' sassy sister and Mrs Wheeleer who totally wanted Billy to bang her.

Other than that, it's such a nice show. The characters are almost universally likable and the music and cinematography are just amazing.

Everyone rejoice! Tom Hardyis officially going to be back as Venom!

Yet another nightmarish outfit for Harley Quinn in Birds of Prey. What the fuck is happening over there?!

Trailer for new Charlie's Angels. This looks so generic and bland. And Banks is more lovely than three main girls combined.

Well, shit, we are gonna have to watch Ghostbustersnow.

New trailer for Hobbs & Shaw and glorious pictures:

This guy who posts all over the web having seen advanced screenings says that Keanu has a cameo in this after all. And Keanu said he doesn't. So....the studio got him to lie?

He needs to be punished for lying.

I volunteer to spank him.

So I checked out Murder Mystery on Netflix and it was pretty nice, I even laughed at few moments like when goats kept showing up on the road (I don't have a very sophisticated sense of humor, don't I?). But it's so transparently just an excuse for Netflix to ship those actors to nice locations and shoot the movie while they are there.

I also saw Brightburn and that was a really generic horror movie. The most interesting thing in it were the teases for evil Wonder Woman and evil Aquaman but that probably wouldn't be enough to fill an entire film. There were some really gross things in this movie, I had to look away at the eye part. That was even worse than Keanu taking this guy's out in John Wick 3. But during that I looked at the screen because you know, Keanu was there.

I went to see Child's Play because the cinema has air-conditioning and the movie was short. Yep, there's my brilliant decision making again. The film was quite fun and I really sympathized with that doll. I did! It just wanted to be a good friend.

The Beach Bum is INSANE. It's also a very entertaining movie. I laughed out loud few times and McConaughey delivered an awesome performance. Zac Efron and Jonah Hill don't have much screen time but they are really funny. I will post a review for it next week.

During long weekend I sawJohnny Mnemonic. Siberia and Knock Knock no longer hold the title for the worst Keanu movie. Dear God, that was just awful. Not only was it boring but it was completely incomprehensible too. He looked beautiful but I wish there was a coherent plot surrounding him.

I rewatchedKnock Knock. Yes, I now saw this piece of shit three times. But in my defense I have just found out not one of Keanu's seven Razzie nominations are for this, so I just had to watch Free Pizza monologue with this in mind.

I also sawTo the Bone and that was really good! I don't think he was even acting in this, he was just being his angelic self. While looking beautiful.

I watchedStreet Kings which has Keanu and Chris Evans playing cops, which puts it firmly in porn genre. And of course there's this:

It was surprisingly not awful for a David Ayer movie.

So first I read Keanu did Johnny Mnemonic because someone dropped the script in front of his house and then I read this about The Watcher, which I suffered through on Saturday: "Reeves has stated that he was not interested in the script but was forced into doing the film when his assistant Brian forged his signature on a contract. He performed the role rather than get involved in a lengthy legal battle. He was contractually prevented from disclosing this until 12 months after the film's US release".

The circumstances surrounding him signing up for projects are so insane, maybe I should just walk around Malibu until I run into him and pull that Love Actually trick, but instead of all the romantic shit, the cards include the storyline for porn written by me with him in mind?

Yep, I think I should do that.

Anyways, he plays a serial killer of women in this and it's as believable as you'd expect it to be. It's like casting a puppy in the role of a hellhound.

More delightful Toy Story 4 promo - 1,2,3,4

His reaction! I just can't stop laughing.

Watching the videos where people pay him compliments is both hilarious and horrific. You can see him go "shit, let's deflect!" in his mind.

He is so pure and yet....:

I already tweeted about it but JESUS CHRIST

FOUR. That is FOUR times a day.

I am both speechless and have so many questions.

Is it one woman?

Is it a few?

Do they survive this?

Does he ride around LA on his motorcycle looking for girls?

Does he actually have to say anything or are they just running towards him, already taking their clothes off?

Does he have a dungeon where the ladies can chillax afterwards?

And most importantly - can I live in it?

He says 'a relationship' so there's a woman out there who got to do this? Again, is she OK? Did she ever regain her ability to walk?

Everyone goes 'aww he is shy'. Shy my ass, that man is a magnificent beast!

I need to move to LA. I have never before in my life felt so convinced that my talents are being wasted here.

Gemma reviews Toy Story 4 and Allie is the greatest mom!

Keith and Dell review Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Katy reviews Booksmart

Getter and Sonia choose TV series about gangsters

Jade reviews Rocketman

Diana writes about Snowpiercer

Brittani has watched an outrageous number of movies you never heard of

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