We all know what I really want to talk to you all about.
In my wildest, most perverted dreams I didn't expect this video to be so completely not subtle at all. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
On Monday I have been so excited since the morning but then when it dropped....behold MY TWEETS (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9)
So here we go with my highly professional analysis of Watermelon Sugar, the video:
00:01: "This video is dedicated to touching". The way I stared at the screen all outraged about this man's complete luck of mercy on us.
00:15: Look at him starting to finger that Watermelon
00:26: It is at that point while watching the premiere I realized I made a huge mistake and should have cleared my browser history in case I DIED
00:32: GOOD GOD DON'T TWIRL IT LIKE THAT!
00:38: I almost passed out right there. When I close my eyes I CAN SEE THIS GIF.
00:49: LOOK AT HIM GO
00:54: Remember when they asked him if that song was about oral sex and he was like "oh okay is that what people think?"? And now he released THIS?! HOW DARE HE?!
00:57: I HAVE NO WORDS
01:02: Gee, Harry, what is this song about?
01:14: Imagine getting to feed him a strawberry
01:17: HE IS SUNSHINE
01:23: I didn't even notice the lesbian action on the left because of what was happening on the right
01:26: I want to be this watermelon more than I wanted to be that fish
01:27: And they got paid for doing this!!!
01:31: This little hand move here is one of the hottest moments in the video
01:38: I want to do this so bad
01:50: Good GOD
01:58: If I were the girl in the hat I'd pass out
02:03: Uhhhhhhh
02:16: He is too beautiful to endure
02:20: THE JOY! THE MADNESS! IN LIGHT OF HIS TECHNIQUE OF EATING....THE WATERMELONS!!!!
02:25: Look at that smug bastard
02:29: I never wanted to shove a....watermelon in someone's face more. Nudge Nudge. Wink Wink.
02:32: Another suggestive image because why have mercy?
02:33: THE SMUGNESS STRIKES AGAIN
02:37: This is too cute!
02:41: When you know what the watermelon represents this is a....powerful image
02:45: SO HAPPY <3
02:49: That watermelon seed refused to let go and I relate to that
02:51: The sun is blinding him like he is blinding me
02:52: This is such a gorgeous shot
03:00: Even the zoom ins in this thing were somehow erotic
There is so much praise for Harry's gentlemanly conduct on the set. I'm impressed by everyone's professionalism there. I'd straight up faint or throw up and probably throw myself at him, grab his leg and beg him to murder me or something.
I feel like this is the good note to end this post on.
So, see you in July and keep your fingers crossed!