(294) Pass the trapeze, please + links

You know that scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Meryl Streep witnesses the dress that was made specifically for her character and she pursues her lips in extreme disapproval? The Greatest Showman trailer - or to be more specific the reactions to that trailer from everyone on this planet who is not so horny for Hugh it clouds all judgment and it's like whatever, if he sat on the crapper for 2 hours and sang "What a Feeling" we would still love it - are that dress. And in that laborious and lovely analogy I'm Meryl Streep. Because I'm thinking come December I'm gonna have to grab a shield and a sword and metaphorically No Man's Land the haters while someone ferociously screams "CRAZY GIRL! NO!' in the background.

Oh boo boo.

Oh what have you gotten yourself involved in here.

We gonna get to that horror in a moment,. but first the thriller portion of RF.

First of all - it's a miracle but I am alive.

Second of all - I know. You only want to know my reaction to this trailer. Like I bet when you saw the news that this trailer dropped you didn't push play first, no the first thing you did was have this thought - holy Christ, Sati gone dead, bruh.

I present to you the journey from 1. me finding out the trailer is soon going to be released 2. me finding out the trailer is going to be released this week 3. me finding out on Tuesday that the trailer is gonna be released on Wednesday. 4. me having a breakdown on Wednesday 5. me having an even bigger breakdown after actually seeing the trailer. 6. all of the fucking edits I made in 2 days time featuring the footage from this trailer.

And let's keep in mind that musical is absolutely my least favorite genre. But it's boo boo. I'd sit through 10 hour long documentary about diarrhea for this angel.

I think I tweeted at least 30 times about this before the trailer was even released so go look at my twitter and may God have mercy on your soul if you do.

Also this really reads like a thriller, particularly the part with my fight to the DEATH with my phone's battery.

The TrapezeTrailer thing was so very cute with Hugh starting and passing the 'trapeze' to Zendaya and then her to Zac and so on and on to all the other cast mates on twitter.

God....

...I wish he passed me his trapeze.

...

....

.....

But anyways...

I hate this music. I know Hugh is over the moon about this and thinks this is like Katy Perry and his daughter will like it and yes, boo boo, love you I'm here with open mouth and all but I listen to Sisters of Mercy or Twin Peaks soundtrack. So this is just not my thing at all.

The reactions to the trailer are TERRIBLE. Like literally from the criticism of the trailer alone - that the music sucks, that it looks bland, that the lines are corny and cliche - to the glorification of the guy he is playing - people are hating that trailer. Someone straight up just wrote "tragique!" as their reaction (which made me laugh so hard). Yes, it's not visually spectacular and yes, the lines are corny but the last part about the glorification of P.T. Burnam...I'm obviously a moron and I'm a European so please educate me but it seems to me that if this man didn't hire all those people in his circus they would never find jobs and probably die a horrible death. Yes, it was awful and an exploitation but by today's standards. The film is not showing modern times, no, it is showing what, early 20th century? I get that it's not the greatest dude to glorify but the thing is that this is just inspired by this story and the story is centered around celebration of those who are different and what is unique in people. So...what is the problem?

I am aware the guy did awful things but the film will definitely not show them. My problem here is this - why did they insist on actually having him as P.T. Burnam? Couldn't they just create some random dude? People aren't going to see it because of who this is about but because of who is in it. And if during promo tour someone went 'hey this character is a lot like P.T. Burnam!" they could just say "yeah, we were inspired by his story". I mean if I can come up with a simple solution like that to avoid the backlash then how the hell they didn't?!

I just know that this is not gonna go well. Poor Hugh is gonna be walking around the talk shows and promoting it and really believing he made a great movie like with Pan. He always believes in his movies so much and he is always so proud of them. And this is even worse because he produced this one. His disappointment is gonna be so much worse than my own. I mean I'm probably not even gonna be let down - he looks gorgeous, he is gonna sing and dance and be all charming. That's all I need from literally any movie he is in.

I'm surrounded with disappointment in my life so I am just used to it but this guy doesn't deserve it. That project was so long in the making...oh fuck.

I so wish Fox decided to re-release Logan in Oscar season. What is wrong with them....first they dumped Eddie the Eagle in the spring, now Logan. TGS is as Oscar bait as a movie can be, sure, but with the proper push the other two could get very far.

This is my set from Eddie the Eagle

(NO, BUT LOOK AT HIM!!!)

The film I saw 3 times.

Last week alone.

And here we go:

I think these livetweets are just getting progressively more and more filthy with each week. But I am extra proud of that slope tweet. That was clever (right?), perverse and accurate. The Sati tweets about boo kangaroo trifecta.

oh but that's not all because on Sunday I decided to rewatch this awfulness:

Hugh landed a new role, in Jason Reitman's next movie. "The Logan star will play politician Gary Hart, who was considered the frontrunner for the 1988 Democratic presidential nomination when his campaign was rocked by revelations of an extramarital affair with Donna Rice. The U.S. senator from Colorado then dropped out of the race."

Stop everything,

an extramarital affair.

THAT MEANS SEX SCENES

So this is definitely getting better reception than TGS.

As for our favorite kangaroo he appears to be in Greece at the moment which makes sense because it's an unbearable heatwave here in Europe again this week. Sir, I need you to go back to America. Gustav is lying on the floor in the hallway because it's the coolest place. I'm walking around the house pantslesss. Nobody wants to see that.

Maybe Hugh is actually filming Deadpool 2 in Canada but he is posting the pictures from Greece to throw us off....I just want him to have cameo there. Please.

The man is literally a saint.

Rumour has it that evil Superman is revealed in next Justice League trailer. I will be 99% surprised if this doesn't happen in the movie and is not revealed in the trailer. Does anyone here actually care about Cavill's Superman? At least if he is evil than that is something new and not just him standing there with constipated look on his face for the third movie.

Alden Ehrenreich reportedly got some acting lessons to help him with that trainwreck of Han Solo movie. I don't know what is going on there. He is clearly a very talented dude having stolen the show from much more experienced actors in Hail, Caesar. If anything it's Khaleesi who should be getting acting lessons over there.

Hey, speaking of. I don't much care about the upcoming seventh season of fan fiction loosely based on The Song of Ice and Fire but that Time magazine photoshoot and the cover are pretty cool. Also Sansa is not on the cover so that's a big plus.

They are making the sequel to The Accountantbut for the life of me I cannot figure out why. Surely both Ben and Jon have better tings to do.

For m.brown here is some Alexandra Daddario

Sean Beangot married for fifth freaking time.

Westworld is gonna have a panel at Comic Con next month and Ed Harrisis going to be there! This is absolutely surreal. Hopkins will not be there, sadly but nearly the entire cast will. I'm so psyched for Comic Con - this and all the DCEU stuff, rumor has it they may reveal who will playing Catwoman and Ivy.

James McAvoy, protect your groin. Taylor Swift who exposed Hiddleston as a massive bitch and ruined Loki for us may appear in next X-Men movie

George"save the refugees"Clooneyis moving to US because UK is too dangerous now. The hypocrisy is overwhelming.

Those rich fucks are just like us!

Jason's Statham's kid has arrived

I am so tired of hearing about Daniel Day Lewis' pretentious ass retiring and going off to make dresses now. Just go if you must. I can't stand these method actors making everyone around them uncomfortable when it's just boring and not so bizarre it's hysterical like with Leto talking about waxing off his pubes every time he has a movie to promote.

Feel old with me today - The Devil Wears Pradais ELEVEN YEARS OLD today.

God bless Marvel for releasing the first trailer for their TV series Inhumans which is absolutely awful. Thanks to that The Greatest Showman is not the most hated trailer this week.

Tom Hardytaking adorable selfies and making photo bombs with fans.

Lena Dunhamis writing a script for Toni Erdmann remake. What a disaster.

Veep finale, despite not featuring my favorite Uncle Jeff, was really fantastic and Jonah already has his Presidential campaign website.

The only movie without Hugh I saw this week was Rough Night and it was...fine. The supporting cast was funny but ScarJo dragged everything down. I mean she is not particularly believable as a human being let alone a funny human being. She wasn't convincing as someone who is in love with Hugh in TWO movies and now this. Just stick to action flicks, woman.

I am up to 5 episodes of new Twin Peaks. My time management is absolutely terrible these days. Can someone pay me for perving over Hugh? Because that is so time consuming. I am trying to live my 'life' but it's hard when he exists. Anyways what I saw so far in the show I really love and Johnny Jewel's music is absolute magic.

Nathaniel breaks down The Greatest Showman trailer. The comment section is brutal. Everyone loves Hugh but really...I'm readying myself for Pan-disaster again

Steven reviews X-Men: Apocalypse aka worth seeing for shirtless Hugh and Fassbender attempting to speak Polish

Dell lists top 22 LGBT movies

Allie reviews Memories of Murder

Chris beautifully trashes the latest Transformers movie...

...while Brittani rips The Beauty and the Beast apart

Kevin reviews Baby Driver which I may see on Friday

m.brown reviews Cars 3. Girls, let's not kill him for his semi-rant about female-driven movies. He needs to see (and review) Les Mis and Prisoners first.

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(294) Pass the trapeze, please + links

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