(293) Can God photoshop my life? + links

Oh my God. Oh my God this whole video.

Well. since you're in good mood now after watching it, I hereby announce that the website and my charming presence in the blogosphere is going on semi-hiatus. I have been running this shit show for 6 years or so and never did this happen in the whole history of this website, but adulting sucks and comes with consequences. That means I'm unfortunately going to be on your websites MUCH less with my wise and super appropriate comments and the only posts here for the next couple of weeks are going to be RFs. I just have too much going on now, the work is insane lately - keep in mind I have a full time job that has nothing to do with movies and is emotionally and - clearly - mentally draining. I wish I could say that this is because I'm hardcore dating (lol) or I'm pregnant (double lol) but no, it's really just because of work. If it slows down, I'll have the time but it's not slowing down at all and it's been like that for several months now. I am exhausted and I really can't keep going like this.

I have so many posts in draft but I cannot find the energy to finish them. So this sophisticated content is probably all that is going to be happening on this website in July. RF posts happen easily (but they still require a lot of work) - it's basically just a selection of what I tweeted about any given week - so Hugh and bitching about movie news. Fortunately, I always ramble on so there's always enough to at least have a post here every Friday and not less often.

So last weekend I did the epic marathon of X-Men. X2 and The Last Stand. Yet again I was outraged about the pants thing. And the cat who licks his claws is the official MVP on the relatable scale in the franchise, even winning with the girl in the limo from Logan and all the ladies eyefucking him in The Wolverine...so all the ladies in The Wolverine.

This is the dumbest thing ever. Unless...his dick creates some sort of force field that is impenetrable by telekinetic energy....holy shit, did I just provide a reasonable explanation for one of the cinema's most embarrassing and dumb plot holes?

I couldn't stop so I also saw his scenes in Scoop again:

Are you ready to laugh? Because what I'm about to tell you is hilarious.

I don't know if you guys are aware of this but along with asinine twitter update that made stuff round - and it took me 15 minutes to choose a profile pic that doesn't look awful in this format - they flagged whole bunch of things as sensitive material. So if you don't have it checked that you want to view such material in your settings before you see my twitter profile you see a warning that it may contain "sensitive material and language". Yep. Twitter put a warning because of me posting shirtless pictures of Jackman and excessively using the words "penis","fuck" and "boo boo", probably.

I might have just as well post a picture of my tits (though nobody wants to see that) and get the same treatment. Have they gone insane?

I look forward to whenever Google adopts such policy and this place gets shut down.

(though I agree that pictures of that man should come with a warning.)

However keep going like that, social media. Shutting down imdb message boards. Trigger warnings on tumblr. Sensitive content warnings on twitter. I'm not a well adjusted person but if I were as sheltered as today's kids...wow. The youth today is mostly gutless, stupid, lazy, sheltered and every day they becoming more so. By all means hold their hand and make them believe things in life also happen with a warning.

But back to what actually matters...

The never-ending saga of Taron looking at Hugh like I look at Hugh continues with this moment I discovered this week:

He actually invaded the dog magazine I read.

(yes I do read a dog magazine. Because I'm a super awesome dog owner. Also they added a yellow scarf to it this month and Gustav didn't have a yellow one yet. So he is fashionable as fuck this summer)

(they totally didn't mention Allegra there but she seems to be less sassy than Dali. Also I thought Dali was a he? So she is a she...God they areso lucky).

Adorable larger version of the photo of Dafne and Hugh from Logan Noir premiere.

At some point last week in London Margot Robbie (who is not in the movie) was dressed up as Marilyn Monroe and Hugh was in a tux. There are rumors flying around Hugh was filming a music video for The Greatest Showman. I don't know what's going on anymore. I can't keep up.

After leaving London Hugh headed to Barcelonato look divine and promote The Greatest Showman 6 months ahead of the release.

This is horrible quality image but Jesus Christ Alive ->

There were vivid comments about this among fangirls. Vivid. Again I just thought something but I did not tweet that.

I don't even wanna know what is gonna happen in December when it's actual promo tour time.

I truly hate my life.

I had this whole rant written about Henry Cavill reportedly earning so much more than Gal Gadot and then that was debunked. Oh, come on.

Patty Jenkins retweeted the most adorable stuff this week.

Gal and Chris adorably meeting with aspiring young women filmmakers on the set

Jon Berg, one of the guys overseeing DCEU, says the 'tone' was the problem with BvS. To say the tone is the reason for people disliking this movie is like saying "oh God, there is a dog poop in this burning building! People won't go inside!"

But surprisingly it's Disney and not DCEU with biggest trashfire on their hands this week - the directors ofHan Solo spin off moviewere fired 3 weeks before the filming ended. This was a bad idea from the start, then they hired Khaleesi and now this. This is really unprecedented. I read this week that Matthew Vaughn was supposed to direct The Last Stand but left 2 weeks before filming began. Mind you, began. This is 5 months into the shoot, 3 weeks before the filming ends. The Last Stand, you guys. Pants resistant to telekinetic energy. The whole plot of the movie revolving around the cure for mutants that's not really a cure as revealed in a dumb ending scene. A woman not even trying to pretend she is sane so that Hugh Jackman would at least bang her before going "Oh Jean, there is something wrong with you". Vinnie Jones dropping one liners like an asshole. Ben Foster with angel wings appearing in three scenes in the movie.

Ron Howardis stepping in to direct the movie now. Howard is a very fine director and he made Frost/Nixon, which is my top 20 of all time so you won't hear me complain about him. But couldn't they just hire him from the start? How do you let something go on for five months when there is so much money to lose and the whole world is watching?

Ryan Reynolds is making fun of that Spiderman poster and trolling us again. He also likes tweets where people tell him they want Deadpool/Wolverine movie. Come on Ryan. Make us happy.

In news that almost made me have a stroke and punch a wall:

GO FUCK YOURSELF

I really can’t with this dude wanting to play Wolverine. First of how can one even say that when we have Laura. He sounds not only sexist but also so ignorant, Also what man in their right mind would like to be compared to Hugh who is literally perfect in every way. He is an angel who fell on this Earth and made it better. And no one, no one is ever going to top what he did as Wolverine and especially in Logan.

James Howlett, that hero, that miracle, that beautiful man, that perfect angel did not die on this motherfucking tree for some shite fucking reboot to happen. For the love of God NO.

It's OK

I'm calm.

I'm chill.

It's all good.

So Twin Peaks season 3. I saw the first three episodes so far and i absolutely love it. It's bizarre but it's so fascinating. I like the style far more than original series and it reminds me so much of my favorite from Lynch's Mulholland Drive. Hopefully I'll see the 4 other episodes released so far this weekend. But it's truly a fantastic thing so far, if it keeps going like this then Lynch has given us another masterpiece to adore and cherish.

China said NO to Ridley Scott's ridiculous inter-Fassbender erotica.

J-boospreading that Wonder Woman girl power. He still seems to be genuinely enthusiastic about playing The Joker. They asked him if he'd like to share the screen with Gal and he seemed to be psyched but the truth is the only acceptable scene here would be for Wondy to smash his dick with her shield or something.

I don't understand what is the big deal about Carrie Fisher having drugs in her system. It's her business. If you check my system during weekend you'd probably be surprised I'm still alive. Life is hard and no one knows what other people are going through. The truth is we all just try to stay afloat. To hell with judgmental people.

Daniel Day-Lewisis retiring from acting...again.

Johnny 9 Digits figured his life isn't enough of a mess and joked about killing Trump. My thinking is that he was just wasted and tried to make a joke but you need to have good sense of humour to pull off good inappropriate jokes that don't go TOO far when you are drunk. I posses that skill, clearly. He does not.

First photos from American Crime Story Versace season

Poster for Xavier Dolan's next pretentious mess featuring Chastain looking like she is about to hunt dalmatians.

There's a rumour that we may be getting Phoebe from Friends spin-off. It's a terrible idea. Just leave that show alone, the perfect time to do this which was about 10 years after it ended passed.

Jenny Slate and Jon Hammmay be doing it. I want a man out of my league too. What sort of ritual do I have to do?

Jesus Christ. This is why Hugh Jackman is a gift. He reminds me that there are still men who are masculine, dignified and still have some fucking shame. I don't know where those men are in my proximity but good God please send one my way,

The director of the Mummyis using David Ayer's "We made it for the audience" defense. Trouble is the audience loathed it too at least with Suicide Squad we got Margot Robbie being impossibly awesome.

Scarlett JohanssonsaysInfinity War has 63 Marvel characters, 32 in one scene together. Yeah...I only need one and he is not the part of your universe so still not interested.

Prince George was even more adorable than usual during Queen's birthday last Saturday. As soon as he got out on the balcony he was just done with everything.

And finally for the very first time ever Veep reached the greatness of the Thick of It. Yes, for about 3 minutes during season 6 penultimate episode it was as funny as the entirety of my all time favorite show. And that was all thanks to Peter MacNicol, who if you may recall from me saying so here few times, created one of my favorite performances ever as John Cage in the awesome Ally McBeal.

MacNicol showed up in 6 episodes so far - 5 in season 5 and finally last week in season 6 - and I just adored his character so much I even made an edit to honor him.

Here's an awesome article about his work and the awful thing last year when he was disqualified from the Emmys because of a truly bullshit rule. His hospital scene was just amazing and you could really see how the actors playing Jonah and his fiancée were barely keeping it together which really was the case according to the showrunner. I must have watched that scene at least 5 times by now.

I really hope we see a lot more of his uncle Jeff and Sally Phillips' Minna next season. Next to Kent and Ben they are my favorite characters. And of course Richard but how can you not love Richard.

And I still can't stop laughing about Kent's outfit.

Sonia reviews Blade Runner

Brittani and Dan share their 3 picks for movies set in the woods

Katy shared a wonderful post to celebrate Nicole Kidman's birthday

MettelRay, Allie and Jade review Wonder Woman

Vern looks at the films of Sofia Coppola just in time for The Beguiled

Dell shares a great guest post by KG about the characters dying in films

Alex wrote about the work of Ingmar Bergman. It's possibly the longest blogpost I've ever seen in our movie blogosphere but that also makes it the most comprehensive one because Alex knows things, genuinely loves cinema and he doesn't half-ass his posts. So if you want to know something about any given Bergman movie, now you know where to go.

And finally let me tell you a story. As you may recall a bit over 3 months ago the world as we knew it ended when I saw Logan. Since then it was just a parade of pervy tweets and me watching pretty much only the films starring the precious boo kangaroo. And since I 1. love when m.brown rips the movie apart 2. what I love even more is recommending people a movie they will love, I have been harassing him relentlessly to watch Les Mis and Prisoners (so that he tears it apart) and Eddie the Eagle (because it's so awesome). It's been 3 months since I started my mission. I think it was Monday when he told me he will publish it the next day. So like a nerd with no life - so me - I waited and nothing. And of course today, when I had so much work he dropped that gem. My focus was shot to shit (1, 2, 3) But it is worth it because finally it is here. And you absolutely must read it because otherwise the title of this RF's won't make sense to you. And you absolutely must watch this movie which I may or may not - but totally did - watched two times this week alone.

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