cinematic corner.

We open and check in with Jorah who loads unconscious Tyrion on a boat. The lighting in this scene is worse than in most Stannis' scenes, so that's one hell of an accomplishment. Also there is no Genry rowing in the background, so opportunity missed?

On another boat, in a shameless but welcomed fan service Jaime asks one of the crew what is that island on the horizon. Turns out it's Tarth. Jaime has the most amazing "Brienne I miss you" look on his face. It's a shame that instead of thinking about him Brienne focuses on stupidity like wanting to avenge Renly.

Then Bronn and Jaime are talking and the conversation moves to Tyrion. Jaime says the next time he will see Tyrion he splits him in half. Jaime's character moving back and forth without any sense whatsoever continues.

In King's Landing during the council meeting Cersei sends Mace to Braavos and assigns Merryn Trant to go with him. Then she is talking to High Sparrow telling him there is a great sinner in their midst. Cersei is trying to use Sparrows as her weapon and she is even pretending to dislike wine in front of High Sparrow.

The Sparrows raid the brothel, among many other places, to rid the city of debauchery. Also Lancel arrests Loras for being gay. And hence Loras' sole characteristics in the show is finally used for something else than bare ass - and Dorne birthmark - in sex scenes.

Margaery is furious and demands that Tommen makes sure Loras is freed. Tommen goes to Cersei and she plays dumb. Tommen doesn't know what to do. I feel for him - his mother is a bitch and his wife is a smirking idiot. Also it's increasingly disturbing that the show aged Tommen just so that he could have a sex scene with Margaery yet they have him acting all innocent and essentially looking like a child.

Tommen goes to talk to the Sparrows but they deny him entry while the crowd gathered behind him calls him 'bastard'. Sweet Tommen decide to go away, depicting kindness and weakness. Then, clearly worried that Margaery will deny him access to her entry, he tries to calm her down but she walks away saying she wants to be with her family.

I really hope the Tyrells bite it. The way they are now are just sexual pawns for D&D. Loras primary (only?) characteristic is that he is gay. When it comes to Margaery they resorted her to control Tommen with sex. Not with kindness, interest or intelligence. No. For these writers the safest way to a man is through woman's vagina. I'm not sure who they are offending more with this. Although there was upcoming scene with Melisandre that suggested that sometimes boobs fail the mission.

But I cannot be mad too long because in the next scene Stannis is leaning on a railing like a goddamn male model. Unfortunately, his two psycho women are there with him.

Selyse is trash talking Jon and then Shireen as usual and Melisandre is spewing more psycho bullshit. I hate the fact that she is going with Stannis after he leaves the Wall. Stay away from him!I f Stannis takes out his mighty sword and slaughters them both I'd be more happy than if he was naked. Selyse is a constant threat to Shireen and the show butchered Melisandre to the point right now is just an equivalent of a psycho naked nymphomaniac nun.

Then Melisandre is exposing herself to Snow and practically molesting him. Jon doesn't want to do it with her and she throws 'you know nothing, Jon Snow' at him. Coming from woman who would rather do Jon than stannis this is really rich. Also - why? Carice van Houten is a talented actress yet season after season her performance is reduced to her showing her breasts and Melisandre comes off as evil, and there is no amount of Martin proclaiming otherwise that can rescue the perception that comes from watching the show. The last decent thing she did was saving Davos' life in finale to season 3

Then we get the most beautiful moment Stannis was handed so far and the finest acted out scene of the season - Stannis is sitting alone in his chamber and Shireen comes over. Stannis asks if she is lonely and Shireen responds she is bored. She asks Stannis if he is ashamed of her.

Stannis gets up and tells her how when she was born a Dornish trader came over to Dragonstone. Stannis got a doll for Shireen. He says he still remembers how she smiled when he put that doll in her cradle. It turned out that the doll was the source of greyscale. Stannis says the following:

"Everyone advised me to send you to the ruins of Valyria to live out your short life with the Stone Men before the sickness spread through the castle. I told them all to go to hell. I called in every maester on this side of the world. Every healer, every apothecary. They stopped the disease and saved your life. Because you did not belong across the world with the bloody Stone Men. You are the Princess Shireen of House Baratheon.

And you are my daughter."

Shireen runs to Stannis and hugs him. He stands still until he puts his arms around her and hugs her back. I was just beside myself during that scene. We all knew Stannis loved his daughter just from the two lovely scenes - in season 3 him visiting her and in season 4 him reacting strongly to Selyse's suggestion that Shireen should be hit with a rod. But this is the new level. Also it's so tragic that the doll Stannis gave her caused her illness. Stupid Dorne!

I'm hoping with all of my heart that this is not one of those "let's make you all love the character so that when they are SAVAGELY MURDERED you are more devastated". There is so much talk about the possibility of either one of them crazy bitches burning Shireen alive or Stannis dying in the show this season - FUCK YOU BRIENNE - and I just hope they are all red herrings. Lord save them both.

Either way, just give Stephen an Emmy now.

My make up just got completely shot to shit. Waterproof my ass.

In Winterfell Sansa is paying her respects in the crypts. She lights a candle for her aunt Lyanna and the feather Robert Baratheon left in her hand in the series' very first episode falls on the ground. Damn, that is one enduring father. Anyways Sansa picks it up and Littlefinger approaches. They talk about Lyanna and Rhagear. Sansa says that Rhaegar raped Lyanna and Littlefinger throws her a curious look.

The whole Lyanna and Rheagar thing may just be the key to one of the series' most important things and that look from Littlefinger made me worried that they will give him the honor of revealing the truth. I hope it's not the case because that would be a travesty.

Littlefinger then tells Sansa to use Ramsay and fool him. Then he tells her he is leaving for King's Landing. All was left was a sign "LOL good luck Sansa don't get flayed". There is no defending of Littlefinger's plan. His whole reasoning is that Stannis will win the battle and grant Sansa Winterfell. But wouldn't it be better to wait with Sansa in the Vale until after Stannis actually battles Boltons and wins than throwing her to those psychos?

In Dorne Jaime and Bronn are bonding near fire. Jaime mentions that the best way to die is in the arms of the woman, which was probably another fan service. Then Dornish riders arrive and what follows is an amusing scene echoing Brienne and Jaime's journey when they were trying to conceal his identity. The conflict breaks out anyways and Bronn and Jaime kill the riders.

Next we meet Sand Snakes. Ellaria rides and speak with them - the three daughters of Oberyn - Obara, Nym and Tyene. Ellaria tells them that they can either do what Doran wants - peace - or choose her way - revenge. The Sand Snakes choose revenge and reveal the captain buried in the sand who told them he smuggled Jaime Lannister. Obara kills him by throwing a spear through his head.

We are getting this instead of Stoneheart?!

Jorah and Tyrion have a great scene on the boat where Tyrion guesses Jorah wants to win Daenerys' favor by bringing her a prisoner as famous as Tyrion. Tyrion taunts Jorah about working as a spy (remember when in season 1 Varys wanted to use Jorah to kill Dany and now he is seeking Dany to put her on throne? Don't look for logic, just have fun) and her finding out. Jorah punches Tyrion.

In Meereen Barristan is telling Dany of Rheagar. Yep, that's the show trying to catch up with 4 seasons lack of enough mentions of Rhaegar and Lyanna and now giving you two per week. It's a sweet scene and it also reeks of what I'm hoping Shireen/Stannis scene is not secretly reeking of - this character is good and noble, do you like him? Like him, because they are about to die a horrific death.

So in the ending of the episode we get Barristan and Grey Worm fighting Sons of the Harpy in a brutal and very exciting and well orchestrated sequence. They both take many down, but they are wounded and fall on the ground, presumably dead. Well in one case not even presumably, if you saw the promo for next episode.

It's a shame that's it for Barristan. I remember how excited everyone was at the end of season 3 premiere when Barristan joined Dany. The greatest fighter in Seven Kingdoms only got one fight scene in the end. As for the rest of the episode it's hard not to get frustrated with what the show includes and what it omits - hopefully though at least it still manages to surprise and those obvious red herrings and foreshadowing moments are not that obvious in the end.

Next week in Kill the Boy Stannis leaves Castle Black, Sansa sees Ramsay's true colors and Jorah and Tyrion encounter few surprises on their journey
PREVIOUS RECAPS FROM THE SEASON:

Here we are! I'm so glad of you guys participating in my recent blogathon, we got such varied entries from both US and European films, classic and contemporary films as well as TV series:

MovieMovieBlogBlog - Sandy Bates
A Fistful of Films - Andrew Laeddis/Teddy Daniels
Rambling Film - Walter White, Angela Hayes
That Film Girl - Walter White, Jesse Pinkman
Almost Ginger - Norman Bates, Keyser Soze, Phyllis Dietrichson
Dell on Movies - Samantha Caine/ Charly Baltimore
Hitchcock World - Evelyn Salt
Big Screen Small Words - Captain Zhurov
Defiant Success - Eve Harrington, Suzanne Stone, Tom Ripley
Two Dollar Cinema - The Narrator
ConMan at the Movies - Amy Dunne
MettelRay - Dexter Morgan, Paul Spector

Here are some other White Swans, Black Swans:

Ginger - Casino - to the outside world Ginger is kind, glamorous and has everything worked out. In reality she is a drag addict and alcoholic.

Zed - Pulp Fiction - Zed is wearing a cop uniform. He's probably a police officer, praised in his job, maybe even married with kids. In reality he is a sadistic rapist.

Julianna - Vanilla Sky - beautiful, desirable, fun. Julianna seems like someone who has it all. But in reality she is so alone - something which Cameron Diaz, in her best work to date, nails in the saddest girl to hold the martini scene - she just wants to be loved. When her heart is crushed, the madness takes over.

Mavis - Young Adult - to the people in her small town Mavis is a role model- beautiful, successful, happy. But in reality her beauty requires whole routine to repair her looks after all the heavy drinking she does, her contract is about to expire and she is deeply unfulfilled, stuck with the same hopes she had 10 years ago.

Joe - Killer Joe - another cop with the sinister side. Joe is methodical and cold. But in reality he is into some really kinky stuff with young girls. Plus he kills people for money.

Carol - Repulsion - Carol is shy, virginal, almost afraid of men. But inside she is bursting with unfulfilled sexual desires and passions that start manifesting themselves in increasingly creepy and violent ways.

Laura - The Hours - on the outside Laura is a perfect wife, on the inside all she does is wanting to escape which includes even leaving behind her two kids, including infant daughter.

Diane - Trainspotting - a schoolgirl by day, a wild party girl at night.

Patrick Bateman - American Psycho - a successful....wait, what is this that he actual does for a living? But in reality Patrick is a crazy killer, profoundly depraved, barely holding it together under the facade of normality.

Thanks everyone for participating! And now head out to the linked blogs and check out their Swans.

That scene is everything. I want to hug him so bad.

Please say such things to me:

If something happens to Shireen I'm not gonna handle it. Don't take away his child!

Look! Two promo pics this week!:

I cannot wait for people to see Tyrion and Jorah and their big scene on Sunday. Non book readers will freak out so bad. Also I'm really warming up to Sansa - there's gonna be a scene of her with Boltons and she is actually sassing Ramsay with her mocking look which is seriously the best thing she has ever done on the show:

I've made this edit of Sansa just using the footage from Winterfell scenes in season 5.

Feels alert! It looks like the upcoming episode is gonna feature Stannis/Shireen goodbye scene. Hold me!

Meanwhile we had precious royal thing happening in the real world. There's a new princess! Did you guys see Prince George wave in front of the hospital? Oh my God!

And the princess! I really wanted them to name her Charlotte Diana and her name is Charlotte Elizabeth Diana!!! I wonder why George didn't go out with them when they left the hospital, maybe he is picking on his little sister already and doesn't like that she has all the attention? I really like the royal family especially Kate and William. The fact that we have prince George and actual little princess in the world right now is just too precious.

I actually managed to watch some movies this week. The Body, which was a great Spanish thriller with very good twist - not perfect since it had implausible elements - and the film was very well done. The story reminded me of Gone Girl a little bit because the movie also follows a cheating husband who might have killed his wife. I really highly recommend it.

I also saw War because, well, Jason Statham was in it.

And finally It Follows. It was really a great movie, very chilling. The score and the cinematography were perfect and I adored all the nods to horror classics. I'm gonna try to review it soon.

So much has happened this week but one of the most important things is that after years of hoping and waiting Harley Quinn will finally be brought to life and by Margot Robbie no less, who is just such a terrific choice. I love the first pictures of her and I'll see the movie just for her, but Leto's Joker also looks good. Check that sexiness out:

I love that look and the official photo of her is obviously my avatar everywhere at the moment. Also her shity says "Daddy's little monster". This is definitely my aesthetic.

Speaking of Leto, he was in my city this week for 30 Seconds of Mars concert and apparently he was walking on the route where I usually walk with Gustav to take him to hairdresser. There's even a photo of Leto in the spot where Gustav peed a while back. Also what the fuck is he wearing during that concert?

Return to Sendertrailer with Rosamund Pike! Amy is back!

Also about Rosamund - she is "in talks to board David Oyelowo’s passion project A United Kingdom, Deadline has learned. No deal has been done yet and there are still details to iron out but there is strong interest from both sides to make this work.A United Kingdom, which Pathe is financing, tells the true story of Prince Seretse Khama of Botswana, who caused an international stir when he married Ruth Williams, a white woman from London in the 1940’s. The much-in-demand Pike would play the role of the royal’s wife-to-be should the deal close. The interracial union was opposed by both their families, as well as the British government, the Tribal elders of Botswana and the apartheid government of South Africa. The couple would not be denied, overcoming huge obstacles to be together, including exile and the abdication of the throne. Their son, Ian Khama, is currently the democratically elected president of Botswana and the family is cooperating with the project." This is sounds like a great role for Ros and if she is in, I'm definitely gonna see this movie.

Kit Harington was on Graham Norton Show last Friday and he was so funny. Two other guests, which were also great were Matt LeBlanc and Rebel Wilson.

So Joss Wheadon...he was attacked by a bunch of girls on twitter over what he did with female characters in Age of Ultron. While they went too far with the insults Wheaton is a fool. He essentially said that he was distracted by social media and that reflected on his work. But that's not all - he has the audacity to call a clip from Jurassic World misogynistic while in his movie all that was left for Widow to do was yell "love me and save me even though I cannot have kids therefore I'm unworthy" to Bruce and he had Scarlett Witch, who is on her own more powerful than the rest of Avengers combined, only stand up and fight after getting a go girl talk from Hawkeye. Oh my God Joss that feminism you depict is so fucking blinding it's like my vagina is getting x-rayed here.

But what Wheadon did and the female rage that hit him will be nothing if the rumors about the next week's episode of Game of Thrones are true. This is not confirmed but very likely - Ramsay will consummate his marriage with Sansa and he will force Reek to be in the room and watch. For me the only way to remedy that whole Sansa in Winterfell plot is if she runs away before being raped by Ramsay. If that happens, well then I'm profoundly repulsed and to be honest absolutely mesmerized by D&D. The show received so much hate over the rape scene last season and now they are having another scene which will be a million times worse. I hope that if that scene is indeed what happens Sansa fans will blast them with the full might of "who do you think you are?/how dare you?!" rage.

Cannes film festival starts next week and we already got some excited pictures - especially from Sicario. I don't know why I'm getting Zero Dark Thirty vibes here but whatever the reason I hope - and think - this will be a lot better. You gotta love Emily Blunt.

We also got first pictures from Quentin Tarantino's new film Hateful Eight. It's wonderful seeing Jennifer Jason Leigh again:

m.brown reviews Unfriended

Ruth shares her Five for Fifth for May

Brittani and Anna recap recent episode of Game of Thrones

Fisti shares his May Oscar Predictions

Alex features Vincent D'Onofrio in his In Character series

MettelRay shares her 5 favorite posts on her blog

Mariah reviews Avengers: Age of Ultron

RELATED POSTS:

This week on Thrones things got progressively worse for few characters. The men in Daenerys' life are either getting killed by basic bitches in Meereen, being stuck in a pointless romance side plot or contracting the cross between rabies and leprosy, while Sansa is discovering the depths of the shitshow run by the Boltons in Winterfell. And also - I fear for the lives of absolutely every decent character in the Northern storyline.

It's not a good sign that even though King's Landing - which apart from the Northern storyline - the one we are not getting on the show for the sake of the adventures of Darth Sansa - is the best written storyline in the book - wasn't featured this week I didn't miss it one bit. Also there is whole bunch of crap and torture to show in King's Landing and the are only 5 episodes left!

But first - in opening credits Stephen is 4th billed!

In Meereen we find out Barristan is dead. Dany orders the heads of the most powerful families in Meereen to be brought to her and than takes them to the dragons. They burn one of them and there is a great shot of of her in front of the dragons.

Sam reads about Daenerys to Aemon. Aemon says the Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing. Jon enters at the moment he says it....

Jon asks Aemon what to do about the wildlings and master Aemon says the powerful words from the book "Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Kill they boy and let the man be born". He basically tells Jon to be a leader.

Jon goes to speak with Tormund. Jon tells him that Wildlings belong to the realm of men. Jon decides to let Wildings into the realm so they could fight with him against the threat that is coming. Jon unchains Tormund and tells him to be a leader to his people. Tormund tells him most of the people is at Hardhome. Tormund tells Jon to come with him.

Jon tells others in the Watch about his plan. One of them says the Wildlings should die and it means less enemies for the Watchers. Stannis who is present says "Fewer" correcting the Watcher's grammar, Davos goes "What?" Stannis says "Nothing". It was such a nice little funny moment. The Watchers disagree with Jon because Wildlings killed their people. Jon says if they abandon the Wildlings the will become wights. Stannis is shown again. Oh, my heart.

Olly comes over to Jon's chamber. The little shit is finally given some lines. Olly is against the Wildlings on account they killed people in his village. Jon tells him he knows what it's like to lose the people he loves but winter is coming and they know what is coming with it. They can't face it alone. Olly is visibly upset.

Meanwhile the crack team of Brienne and Pod got around Moat Cailin - and to those familiar with the geography of Westeros, here's our 5 minute laughter break - and now Brienne tells Pod of how Boltons killed Sansa's mother and brother. Brienne finds new BBF who will help her get messages to Sansa who is some random old dude. Because you know, why bring back the characters we already met on the show and are in Brienne's storyline in the book if you can introduce new person, right?

20 minutes in and three Catelyn mentions already. Oh for fuck's sake.

We get a sex scene with Ramsay and Myranda, because of course. Myranda and her crazy hip bone get all 'you're mine' all over Ramsay and he is warning her he won't marry her like he once promised and that she better not bores him because she knows what happens to people who bore him. Myranda obviously remembers the chick that she helped him hunt with that got eaten by dogs. So she bangs him. Charming.

It gets better because The North Remembers old lady tells Sansa to light a candle in the tower if she is in trouble, because she has friends in the North. Oh good. Don't worry Sansa. When Ramsay tries to rape you, torture you and flay you, find matches and light a candle. The quartet of the two elders, Brienne the Incompetent and Pod, who cannot ride a horse will get there - in I'm sure a nick of time - to help.

No, but seriously at this point I'm glad we are getting even this poor sample of northern conspiracy and rebellion from the books.

Sansa sees the tower that Bran fell from in the first episode. She is wearing her Maleficent/Angry Bird/Such a playa dress and Myranda comes over and in the rouse transparent to everyone - but Sansa - tries to befriend her while complementing her dress.. I feel this couldn't be more obvious if she looked like a crone and handed her an apple.

This is the content of Game of Thrones Mother's Day episode. This, not Stoneheart.

Sansa tells her that her mother taught her how to make dresses. This is like the forth and fifth mention of Catelyn.

Myranda tells Sansa to go see something in the cages to help her remember. To her shock it's "Theon Greyjoy is not here right now" Reek. Reek is locked in a cage and Sansa first looks stunned, then sad, then furious. Both Alfie Allen and Sophie Turner are doing wonderful job this season already and I'm sure that the best thing that will come out of this convoluted Sansa in Winterfell plot are going to be their scenes together.

Reek is helping Ramsay get dressed. He tells him Sansa saw him. Ramsay tells him not to keep secrets from him and get on his knees. Thank God all that happens is Ramsay telling him "I forgive you".

During dinner scene we finally get to hear Walda, the second relatively normal Frey in the world (next to Roslin) speak. She is very nice to Sansa and even is in for Sansa breaking Roose and Ramsay's balls by remarking how this is her home but the inhabitants are strange. I'm all for Sansa throwing dirty looks and smiling sarcastically but I feel this is way too much shade to be throwing at the man who is ruthless and has a flayed man for a banner and his psycho son who you are about to marry. But who knows, maybe Sansa's only lesson from Littlefinger was this - be stupid while climbing the ladder of chaos.

There is some sick shit happening as Ramsay makes Reek apologize to Sansa for killing her brothers.

But never mind that because one of the best things going on in the show nowadays is Roose mercilessly trolling people. We have Ramsay torture - verbally for now - Sansa and say that Reek will give her away at the wedding (by the way that wedding is next week so I advise you to buy paper bags). Sansa throws him 'you've gotta be fucking kidding me' look. Roose jumps in and announces good news - Walda is pregnant. Roose thinks it's a boy. Sansa smiles at Ramsay smugly because here comes the legitimate son of Roose, not a bastard like Ramsay.

Someone protects Walda, please. We haven't had fetus killing in almost 2 years on the show. Don't break that run, HBO.

We get another scene with Ramsay and Roose with Ramsay wondering how can Roose know she is pregnant since Walda is so fat and how did he managed to get her pregnant anyways. Roose remarks how Ramsay disgraced himself during dinner. I liked that Roose at the very least tries to be gentlemanly towards Sansa and hates Ramsay's stupid mind games. Then the conversation moves to Ramsay's mother. Roose reveals to Ramsay that she was a peasant girl, miller's wife. They married without his consent so he hung the husband and under his swinging body, he raped her. She then appeared months later with Ramsay. Roose says he looked at the baby and knew Ramsay was his son.

Roose says that Stannis has army at Castle Black and he means to take Winterfell and the North. Ramsay says he will help Roose defeat him.

DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY KING.

Sam and Gilly are hanging out. Sam tells Gilly of Oldtown and the Citadel, which has the most books in the world. Stannis walks in. Gilly runs away, hilariously. Stannis starts talking to Sam, who is shaking like a leaf. Stannis questions him about killing White Walkers. He is surprised that someone like Samwell killed a White Walker. Stannis is eager to find out how to kill them and tells Samwell to keep reading.

Then Stannis goes to see Davos and tells him they begin marching on Winterfell at sunrise. Davos asks about men staying behind to guard the Queen and the princess and Stannis says they are going with them because most of the men at Castle Black are killers and rapists.

In something that neither of the people I spoke with guessed, Shireen and Selyse leave the Wall with Stannis. A bunch of us assumed that Stannis would leave them under Jon's protection but no. Shireen gets a sweet scene with Davos where Davos tells her he is afraid and in case there is battle she must protect him. The psycho bitch Melisandre leaves too, unlike in the book, where she stayed to creep towards her new, desired ~~penis~~ target Jon.

Selyse appears and of course makes everyone miserable. Shireen manages to exchange a quick and adorable wave with Sam and Gilly.

On one hand I'm happy Shireen is going with Stannis because daddy will protect her. On another I'm not happy because Melisandre is going too and I don't want her anywhere near Stannis. I want her across the narrow sea. I want her in freaking space, away from that man and baby fawn Baratheon.

Stannis and Jon part and Jon wishes Stannis safe journey and thanks him. Melisandre throws more pervy looks at Jon but who cares when Stannis is wearing that:

Then he gets on the horse and his badass theme plays in the background and his army leaves Castle Black. I can't hear my thoughts over the noise of my ovaries exploding.

Do not hurt him. DO NOT HURT HIM.

Back in Meereen Grey Worm is unfortunately still alive so that the time wasting crap that is his romance story with Missandai continues. I'll be even more pissed off if he dies anyway given how much screen time they wasted on this storyline already.

Daenerys asks political advice from Missandai. Oh my God. Anyways let's not dwell into this - it ends with Daenerys saying she should marry that Hizdahr dude. Let's move on

In a scene that was kinda in the books but it has so many changes that not really, we are back to everyone new favorite pairing - Tyrion and Jorah. They are sailing (which happened in the books) through Old Valyria (which has not happened in the books). They see Drogon (which has not happened in the books), are attacked by Stone men (which has happened in the books) and Jorah gets greyscale (which has happened in the books to the character the show cut).

So this is what is our adaptation now.

But leaving aside the bitchiness, because I'm doing it for comic relief now - as I adored the scene and the only cut characters I mourn are Stoneheart and Manderlys - this was an excellent sequence and finally an explosive ending - for both non book readers and book readers. Some of us crazy obsessed nerds figured out Jorah will probably catch greyscale but it was still shattering to witness. I mean my God, poor Jorah. Can't get laid and now he is patient zero. He cannot catch a break, but he catches greyscale. Oh man.

Jorah will probably be used as a vial that causes the plague - either in Essos or Westeros, prompting everyone to abandon ship and run the fuck away. Yes, Shireen got cured but Shireen's daddy is Stannis and Stannis's perseverance, love and resources led to miracle.

Jorah doesn't even own a second shirt.

The whole sequence was very well done as were the Stone Men - they were so creepy especially how at first they blended in the background and then moved, it was like something straight out of Alien franchise. The whole setting looked amazing and even though we just saw him briefly the CGI of Drogon and his movements were so well done. I especially loved the look on Tyrion's face when he saw him - a mixture of astonishment, curiosity and shock.

The Stone men attack their boat and Jorah yells at Tyrion that he can't let them touch him. Peter Dinklage was so good here, showing the fear so well. Tyrion falls over board and then Jorah rescues him. He cuts him lose and says they will walk the rest of their journey. Tyrion asks if Jorah was touched by the stone men and Jorah says no. But then he gets up, makes sure Tyrion doesn't see it and looks at his arm which already has greyscale on it.

Overall this was a very good episode - the show has now detoured into such strange depths for book readers that seeing a writer and director actually drop enough of fan service and cool stuff to keep us more entertained than annoyed is great.

The episode was written Bryan Cogman, who remains the best writer on the show. We got to see the Old Valyria, we got great Stannis moments and cute invented ones - Davos/Shireen. The episode was directed by the newcomer to the series - Jeremy Podeswa, who directed Stephen Dillane so beautifully in Fugitive Pieces. Seriously see this movie.

And by the way, I almost got an aneurysm during yet another flood of Catelyn's name drop. Have some shame, for the love of God.

Next week it's Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken - the house words of Martells so we go to Dorne again. We also check in with Arya. It looks like no Stannis for me. Batman returns to King's Landing and grandma Olenna comes to rescue Margaery and Loras. Also there's wedding in Winterfell. I assume no one will die during this one but this is gonna be the most repulsive one yet.
PREVIOUS RECAPS FROM THE SEASON:

I can't get over how hot he is. And so adorable! I can't with this show.

Look at that:

How are you real, sir? The cloak, the majestic everything...

Also the hilarious outrage over Sam! I love what he did there!

This week no Stannis in the upcoming episode, but I'll just stare at those gifs....

...and that promo pic. Rawr.

Still it takes me back to one year ago to these long weeks between episodes where there were no new Stannis scenes in sight.

It was hell.

You know how I'm about one of 10 people gifing Stannis scenes? And how Buzzfeed recently keeps linking to my site and tumblr because apparently they found this Black Swan hidden images thing I did and now they figured my websites are a good resource for awesome stuff?

Well check out this Stannis article. You may recognize some of the gifs...Also it's the most accurate thing ever written in the history of the world.

To those 2 or 3 lost souls who responded to buzzfeed with 'eww' - your taste is literally so shit I can smell it reeking from here. Please never breed with whatever adolescent looking guy you find attractive. Your species needs to die out.

Carice van Houten said this about Stephen in Q&A when she was asked to describe him "brilliant, peculiar, funny". Ah, my feels.

Here we go - new trailer for True Detective season 2 is really very intriguing

Christina Hendricks is no longer a redhead. Hold me.

Meanwhile she is gonna star in new Refn's movie entitled The Neon Demon. The film has Ellen Fanning as a lead and here are the first pictures:

I'd ask the gods for it to be better than Only God Forgives, but really, is it even possible for something to be worse?

We got two new Crimson Peak trailers. I'm still not sure about the color palette but Hiddleston and Chastain look awesome.

Guillermo’s big note was that Hiddleston shouldn’t just go right into the big kiss, but be more tentative. “Yes, of course. It is the first one, after all,” Hiddleston replied. Then added “Like Will Smith says in Hitch: Go 90% and let them come 10%.”

This is all very promising.

The new poster is fucking awful, though.

Finally we have footage from Macbeth! It looks good, especially Fassbender's work. Which better be amazing after that crap that was The Counselor. Ew.

Meanwhile, in Cannes, The Lobster got raves and Sea of Trees got booed.

We also got Canadian trailer for Dark Places and the movie opens in US in August:

Charlize is also in Mad Max: Road Fury which is getting amazing reviews, hell I saw it called the finest action movie since The Matrix, in some cases since Terminator 2. That is insanely high praise so I'm gonna try seeing it after work next Friday.

New batch of Harley Quinn pictures! Oh my!:

I finally saw Ex-Machina this week. It was...good. But there was really nothing outstanding about it so I'm quite baffled about the hype. The film didn't really offer anything new, both in terms of the story and execution. Anyways since I have trouble finding time to start writing the review for It Follows, which I adored, I'm not gonna do a piece on Ex-Machina.

Natalie Portman has signed on a bunch of new projects including the ones where she will be playing Jacqueline Kennedy and Ruth Ginsburg. Good for her, as long as she stops saying stupid things. Check the links section to find out more.

Jesus Christ! Have you guys heard of this whole thing with Johnny Depp's dogs - Boo and Pistol? Apparently they didn't go through quarantine and the Australian government threatened to kill them. I'm not gonna comment on Depp's irresponsible behavior here but this dude from the government? What kind of a sick fuck do you have to be to tell two Yorkies to "piss off" and threaten to kill them? I'm repulsed.

The whole thing really blew up to international incident proportions - apparently the dogs were taken by the officials when they were returning from the visit to the stylists. Also a private jet was sent for them to bring them back to safety - stuff I heard about at 6 AM here today, in Poland, in our main news station. And it's election week.

I don't think this is disproportional at all. If Gustav were in danger I'd literally go to space to rescue him. Then again I'd never put my boo boo bear in such a dangerous situation.

Speaking of the election week. It's about whether we get a new president or the old one is re-elected. The old one is smug and useless and has accomplished nothing, his party stole so much and didn't improve shit. He's catholic. The new guy is from the party that strongly believes our former president was assassinated by the Russians, he himself has not said it and appears somewhat normal - as normal as a guy who is against marijuana for medical use (did I mention it is illegal here?) and in vitro can appear. He is even more catholic than our current president. So do I vote for the guy who does nothing while 1/3 of my salary goes for taxes? Or do I vote for the crazies just so I can see these smug thieves in power and those fucking journalists who are such sycophants - we don't have impartial media here - shit themselves because the free ride is over? And all of that ignoring the fact that I may vomit giving a vote for any kind of catholic whether he is just not doing anything about gay people rights or belongs to a party that sees them as inferior? Or do I make a protest and add invalid vote by drawing something on the card? The Iron Throne? A Penis? The Iron Throne made out of penises? Ah, the abundance of options. Ah, democracy.

Check it out. They're not even pretending he is someone you shouldn't be hot for anymore:

Also Gordon Ramsay is gonna guest star in season 3! Brilliant.

Lindsay and Flixchatter review Mad Max: Fury Road

Brittani and Anna recap new Game of Thrones

Thaddeus reviews Foxcatcher

Alex lists 46 things he loves about Spring Breakers

BigScreenSmallWords reviews The Skeleton Twins

Andrew comments on some dumb stuff that came out of Portman and RDJ's mouth lately

MettelRay reviews Age of Ultron

...and finally my favorite blogger m.brown celebrates TwoDollarCinema 4th anniversary!

RELATED POSTS:

Let's jump right in.

Arya is washing corpses in the House of Black and White. There is a gorgeous music playing in the background. Waif comes in and tells Arya to get back to work. Waif tells her she will know why she is washing corpses when it's time, she also tells her of herself a bit. And then she asks was it a lie or truth? Arya doesn't know.

Jaqen teaches Arya lying. Whenever Arya lies he hits her with a whip. Arya says that she hated Sandor and he hits her. I was hoping she will mention Brotherhood without Banners. No such luck. Why do you do these things to me?

Meanwhile, Jorah and Tyrion are still traveling. Tyrion tells Jorah that he killed Tywin and tells Jorah that at least his father was a good man, referencing commander Mormont - you remember him, right? It was nice that they finally reminded the audience of a connection between Joer and Jorah which was last mentioned in what, season 1? Before he died commander mentioned Jorah to Sam but it was never featured in the show.

Tywin tells Jorah of his father's death, how he was killed by his own men. Apparently Tyrion has better intel than Littlefinger.

Arya is scrubbing floors when a man enters, carrying a sick girl. The man asks Arya to end the girl's suffering. Arya approaches the girl and tells her not to be afraid. Arya tells her that she was sick and dying too but her father never gave up on her. Arya says she drunk the water from the fountain and it healed her. The girl drinks and Jaqen is watching from the distance, pleased with Arya's progress in the art of lying.

The girl is then shown dead and Arya is stroking her hair. Jaqen comes in. Arya then follows him downstairs. They enter the room - or to be more specific - the Hall of Faces. Jaqen asks if she is ready to give up all that she is. Jaqen tells her she is not ready to become no one, but she is ready to become someone else. The design of the Hall was very well done and the whole scene was appropriately atmospheric.

Back to Jorah and Tyrion they talk about Daenerys. Jorah asks if Tyrion believes in gods, to which Tyrion responds no. Jorah says he was like Tyrion until the night dragons were born and Daenerys was unharmed by the fire. Then they talk of Jorah's plan. Tyrion is hesitant because Daenerys has no experience and he doesn't think she would be a good queen.

And bam! They are imprisoned by slavers. Led by Mr. Eko, no less. They want to chop Tyrion's cock off because dwarf's cock has magic powers. The hilarious exchange follows where Tyrion tells them they have to show the buyer a dwarf otherwise he won't know the cock came from a dwarf. One of the slavers says he will know it's a dwarf's cock and Tyrion goes "GUESS AGAIN!"

Slaver tells them Daenerys opened the fighting pits. Tyrion spins the tale about Jorah being an incredible warrior. Jorah tells them he killed the dothraki blood rider in single combat and Mr. Eko is impressed. The plan is to get Jorah into the fighting pit. He really can't catch a break, can he?

In King's Landing Batfinger arrives. Faith Taliban arrives along with Lancel and tells Littlefinger of all their great deeds they have been doing like spilling wine into the gutters. My God, the audacity. Littlefinger tells Lancel he is there with urgent business to Queen Mother and he is allowed to go.

Cersei is sitting in front of her wine and Littlefinger asks her if she thinks it's wise to arrest the heir of Highgarden. Cersei tries playing him like Tommen and tells him it's the Faith that arrested Loras. Littlefinger tells her House Tyrell won't tolerate it. Cersei drops golden line of how Loras was promised to her and instead chose the company of boys so she is the one who is insulted.

The conversation steers to Lysa and Cersei says she pities her son Robin. Cersei asks if the knights of the Vale will fight for the King. LF tells her he always counsels loyalty to the throne. He has told so many other versions to different people I'm surprised he can keep track, especially given his insane stupidity that is reaching new levels with this whole Sansa plot.

And here comes the bomb - Littlefinger tells Cersei he found Sansa. He tells her his sources tell him Sansa is in Winterfell and is to marry Ramsaay. Cersei is furious at Roose who was proclaimed to be Warden of the North by Tywin. LF mentions Stannis is marching on Winterfell so Cersei should just let them slaughter each other. Cersei tells LF Jaime and Kevan cannot help with any forces that could go there and claim the castle. So LF offers Vale riders. LF wants to be named Warden of the North.

Surely the riders won't back him up, yes? Please tell me they won't listen to this glorified gigolo.

Dorne gets even more cheesy with Trystane and Myrcella. Trystane who is - wait is he the son of Doran in the show? Who cares. And Myrcella, the daughter of Jaime and Cersei. They are all lovely dovey and Doran along with his bodyguard Areo look at them from the balcony. Doran tells him they need to protect the young couple.

We finally get to hear Dornishman's wife, beloved song from the books. We hear Bronn sing it on his way with Jaime. The two are wearing Dornish outfits...to blend in. You know with all the grass that surrounds them. Jaime and Bronn sneak into Water Garden with ease. By that I mean that NO ONE is there to guard the place where the prince lives.

At the same time Sand Snakes and Ellaria say the house Martell words "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken" and shout "for Oberyn". Yeah, I don't think Oberyn died for that shit.

Meanwhile, Trystane and Myrcella are sucking face and they are interrupted by Jaime and Bronn. Myrcella is stunned to see "her uncle" there. Trystane notices blood on Bronn's clothes and reaches for a sword, so Bronn hits him. Jaime urges Myrcella to go but in true Twilight fashion she refuses.

Enter Sand Snakes. Boy that fight scene....I tell you Oberyn is rolling in his grave. It was so funny. I mean it was terrible but at least it was funny. It was basically Bronn and Jaime waving their weapons around while these three were jumping around and making hilarious noises. Thank God, Areo shows up and arrests them all. Including Ellaria.

Also Keisha what's her name is the only actress in the show who is Oscar nominated and let me tell you her acting was so bad I seriously started missing Shae.

Grandma Olenna arrives, throws comment about how everything smells like shit and then takes Margaery for a little "Renly was gay, who cares, Loras is gay, who cares, they can't imprison people for that" conversation.

Olenna then goes to see Cersei. She tells her to release Loras and reminds her of how precious Tyrell-Lannister alliance is. Cersei says how there is just gonna be an inquiry and she is sure Loras is not guilty. Olenna remarks that she respected Tywin, implying that she has absolutely no respect for Cersei and her actions are foolish. Still, I was surprised by how easy Olenna went on Cersei.

The inquiry happens and High Sparrow is questioning Loras about Renly. Loras denies ever having any relations with him. The High Sparrow asks Margaery to testify. She says she doesn't know of any wrong doing on her brother's part. Then Olyvar, that convenient bisexual plot device from Littlefinger's brothel is brought in.

He says that he had relations with Loras many times and that Margaery knew about it. Cersei is all like "how dare you accuse great house of such things" and plot device mentions the plot device in the form of Dorne-shaped birthmark on Loras ~~ass~~ thigh. High Sparrow deems it as a sufficient evidence and Margaery is imprisoned for perjury.

Dorne-shaped birthmark, seriously, you guys.

While all of this is almost as flimsy as Sansa plot in Winterfell, at least King's Landing storyline got going and Cersei regained her bitchy, fabulous self. This will only keep getting better and better with every single episode now.

And here we go to the land where we all cry and scream in agony.

Winterfell.

Sansa is sitting by the candlelight and there is a knock on the door. It's Myranda. She tells Sansa that Ramsay sent her to draw her a bath. Then Myranda is washing the black dye off Sansa's hair - because there is no reason to hide anymore (when was she hiding, exactly?!). She then proceeds to tell Sansa of Ramsay's previous girls and the horrible fate they met.

Sansa won't have any of this - she tells this basic bitch "I am Sansa Stark of Winterfell. This is my home. And you can't frighten me.". She sends Myranda away. I loved Sansa in this moment. She was channelling so much of Catelyn, her pride, her fierceness, her nobility.

Which made what followed so much worse.

Theon comes by. Sansa is wearing a beautiful wedding gown. Theon is there to escort Sansa to Godswood where she will marry Ramsay. He asks her to give him her arm but Sansa refuses. Theon says that Ramsay will punish him and Sansa tells him she doesn't care what happens to him.

Sansa is escorted to the Godswood - it was so nice seeing this beautiful place again and the whole sequence looked gorgeous. Roose and Ramsay are there and Theon gives away the bride. Sansa agrees to marry Ramsay.

And then the real awfulness started.

In the next scene Ramsay and Sansa walk into the bedroom with Theon. Ramsay becomes more and more creepy with each passing moment while Sansa tries being sweet, smiles at him, answers politely. He asks her about her virginity and Tyrion. Sansa remarks how nice and gentle Tyrion was, a little thing I really liked hearing.

And then everything goes to horrible place.

Ramsay orders Theon to stay in the room, saying he saw Sansa growing up and now he will witness her becoming a woman. He orders Sansa to undress and she does it slowly so he loses patience and rips her beautiful dress. He bends her over and we see frightened expression on Sansa's face.

Then all we see is camera closing in on Theon's face, as he cries and becomes filled with rage and hopelessness as Sansa screams in agony.

They had Catelyn and Ned's daughter raped by the worst monster in the show. Just a little over a year ago an episode where Cersei was raped by Jaime - though they had consensual sex in the books - aired. There was backlash and that was the last straw for many, which now pushed them to hate watching. Now, any sane or at least risk avoiding person would try to avoid this kind of trouble again. Any station would want to avoid having this many women upset. And what do the writers and HBO do? They have Sansa raped by Ramsay.

Not only was that not even in the books, as Sansa is used as replacement for whole other character while book Sansa has a story of her own. This is one of those times where it's really difficult to write about the scene without seeing the rest of the season.

For us book readers, we have no idea what is going to happen. We can only assume that just as in the books SPOILERTheon and the bride escape and run into Stannis. END OF SPOILER But truly if that is it, if that is the pay off and Theon finally snaps, couldn't he snap before Sansa was raped? This is the girl who saw her father die - she was the ONLY Stark who saw her father die - this is the girl whose direwolf was killed, who was abused by Joffrey, married to a man she didn't love, almost raped by a mob, then a toy in psychopath's hands and now her first sexual encounter is with Ramsay.

Please tell me there is a point to this. Please tell me there is an epic vengeance coming for this particular thing. Please don't brush off rape and this girl's first sexual experience being an assault as one of the many things that command revenge. This on its own commands revenge.

The only reason why I have hope this will lead to something and I'm probably wrong is the way this scene was done. They were so lucky Jeremy Podeswa was the director here. The scene was as tasteful as it could possibly be and captured every single nuance - Theon's rage which will no doubt culminate in him overcoming Reek and helping Sansa and Sansa's growing realization that her charm won't stop Ramsay's brutality.

I cried twice watching Thrones. When Catelyn saw Robb's dead body hit the floor and when Stannis told Shireen of how much he loves her.

During Sansa's wedding and bedding scene I cried for the third time.

I'm not ready to join the outrage. There are people calling for a boycott, shouting they'll never watch the show again and even thinking that the title of the episode is a disgusting pun referencing Sansa. But this time I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt.

Yes, they can make it worse. They can have Sansa pregnant with Ramsay's child. But they can also have her team with Stannis or even be the one who slaughters Ramsay. Whatever happens, my judgement on Sansa in Winterfell hangs to the answer on two questions - will Sansa avenge her innocence being taken? And will she avenge the North?

I hope she cuts Ramsay's dick off while Stannis shoves a sword down his mouth.

I also hope Stoneheart shows up and hangs Brienne. That stupid bitch is sitting in the tower waiting for candle light while Sansa is getting raped.

Sophie Turner and Alfie Allen were wonderful again. Allen's work especially is just incredible. If there is someone who truly deserves the Emmy this season, it's him. And I suspect him and Sophie have several wonderful scenes coming up in this season.

As a whole the episode was very good. I thought this is gonna be my least favorite episode of the season on account of what happened to Sansa, lack of Stannis and the inclusion of Dorne but the episode was very well paced and at least Sand Snakes were so awful they provided comic relief, which Lord knows was needed this week.

Next week the one true King returns in The Gift - Stannis is determined to keep marching on Winterfell, Sansa and Theon find new understanding, the winter arrives and Cersei visits Margaery, while Jon leaves for Hardhome
PREVIOUS RECAPS FROM THE SEASON:

To make a fun and light superhero movie is a hard thing to pull off. But what's even harder? Making a follow up that at least matches the first film's quality. Three years ago almost everyone loved having fun with Avengers. The film was very entertaining, well done and featured terrific cast, great villain and a good balance between drama and comedy.

Now comes Age of Ultron which, sadly, is the worst kind of a sequel - not only is it nowhere near the greatness of the first movie, but it makes you the characters you enjoyed so much during the first adventure a little bit worse.

Pretty much all that could have failed, failed. The villain? Well, it would be difficult - but not impossible - to top Loki. The trailers teased deep ideas - dangers of artificial intelligence, the cost of world peace, the way the machine could perceive people - and charisma - given how Ultron speaks in the voice of endlessly magnetic James Spader. The former is almost non existent in the movie and what is there is a bunch of clichés of people telling Tony how he shouldn't play God etc. And the latter? For some reason they made Ultron into petulant child which makes no sense - you can't have a robot learn a whole bunch of stuff within seconds and still have him act like child. It's just not consistent.

What also takes away from the villain character is that Ultron is really not that dangerous. The two people who die are newcomers we really don't know enough to care about. And Ultron is not a single threat, there is bunch of robots attacking near the end of the movie. A single threat is so much more menacing and here we just have a copy of one guy. Avengers also had tons of random crap flying around in its ending but at least it also had Loki.

Then there is the issue of story itself - it's bunch of separate stories, designed to move the plot forward enough to launch the Civil War two parter in 2 years. This is one of those Marvel flicks that doesn't feel like it was done for entertainment, it feels like it was done to fit into the franchise, provide the necessary info for the movies to fit together and make tons of money in the process.

Nothing what happens this time around has really this much impact on the whole Marvel universe, nor it is thrilling or interesting enough to warrant a separate movie. For example, the romance arc between Widow and Banner, while a good idea on paper, in spite of the commitment of actors, falls apart. The writing is just abhorrent - the Widow comes off as needy and pathetic and Bruce comes off as insensitive jerk and a coward. Way to ruin the characters.

There is even a cringe worthy beauty and the beast scene and the moment when Hulk carries Widow to safety and then runs away to prevent himself from harming anyone. Oh boy.

The action scenes are really not at all memorable, neither is CGI and the score. The shot of six Avengers leaping forward into the battle just looks juvenile and is a far cry of the iconic shot from the first movie. I could go on and mention how flat Thor's characterization is or how sentimental the attempts to humanize Hawkeye are, but frankly I don't even have the energy to write about this movie too much.

The most disappointing thing for me, though, was how utterly wasted the potential was when it comes to the visions ScarlettWitch gives the teammates. Thor and Captain America's flashbacks were silly and too vague and Black Widow's one was a wasted opportunity, plus we didn't even get to see what she showed Hulk. The one vision that was good was the one given to Iron Man, near the beginning of the movie - showing the Avengers dead. A promise of daring darkness, that was unfulfilled by what followed.

The film does have it bright sparks - Aaron Taylor Johnson is surprisingly good and relaxed as Quicksilver and Elizabeth Olsen is wonderful as the intriguing Scarlet Witch. All of her scenes are good and it's something to look forward to, as she will be reprising her role in the future. The standout is Paul Bettany as Vision - creating quite an otherworldly performance that fits the character so well. I wish that they traded that annoying Natasha/Bruce pairing for Scarlet Witch and Vision because the one scene where he swoops in and grabs her had more electricity than jaded Johansson trying to be cute and half asleep Ruffalo.

The one thing that was genuinely better than in the first movie was the teamwork - Avengers really work together using each other weapons, communicating and shielding each other backs. It was great to witness. It was also nice how fast the Avengers embraced the new team members, especially when it came to Captain America and Hawkeye being so understanding of Quicksilver and Scarlett Witch.

While Avengers: Age of Ultron is almost never boring it pales in comparison to the original in almost every fathomable way. It's not a bad film, it's just underwhelming. But perhaps it's because Avengers was that good? Either way hopefully Marvel steps up next time and gives us a good villain and better writing because this is definitely not their top effort. We all know they can do better because they did it, so many times before.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015, 141 min)
Plot: When Tony Stark and Bruce Banner try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ultron, things go horribly wrong and it's up to Earth's Mightiest Heroes to stop the villainous Ultron from enacting his terrible plans.
Director: Joss Whedon
Writers: Joss Whedon, Stan Lee (based on the Marvel comics by)
Stars: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo

Thrones outrage was overwhelming this week. Tumblr almost shat itself, the showrunners probably hid in panic room and Sophie Turner was even accused of promoting rape because she said she 'loved' that the story went there, meaning she likes to shoot challenging scenes. I mean Sophie Is 19, let's give her a break. I'm 25 and look at the dumb shit I write weekly and actually torture you with it

What an overreaction.

That the popular culture stuff like movies and TV series depict rape for - at least now as it seems in Sansa storyline - no good reason is irresponsible. But in their livid rage those outraged are bringing it to real world further saying that Sansa is broken now. My God! People are going through horrible things in life, including rape, yet they are able to go on. I imagine for a rape survivor to watch a scene was unpleasant but what was truly the worst would be reading an article and reading that a rape victim is automatically 'broken', 'tainted' forever. I bet the people who say crap like this don't even realize that what they are doing is 10x worse than what the writers did.

This is an excellent article about why this was not nearly as bad as Cersei/Jaime in season 4. Please read it!

Holy hell though, was that scene disturbing. I saw it 4 days ago and I'm still shaken to the core. That poor girl, Catelyn's daughter....

You know what is more heartbreaking? Anatomy of the Scene video shows that Boltons actually destroyed direwolf statues in Winterfell. But it gets worse - there are fish buckles on Sansa's dress. As Brittani pointed out - what if that was Catelyn's old wedding dress?

WHY IS IT HAPPENING TO US WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE

Of course the leeches gif had its renaissance because of last episode. And there was a new one also including Stannis.

To be honest I kinda ship Sansa with Stannis now. Yes, there is 40 years age difference between the actors but since Sophie fancies Iain Glen I cannot imagine her not fancying Stephen. Because well, everyone with eyes should. Also the difference between the characters in the book is just 22 years. They have been through so much and Stannis abhors rape and treats all women with respect. Make it happen. But most importantly don't kill him off because I'll lock myself in my room and paint tears on the walls with my own feces.

Sansa did look so lovely during the wedding:

Whatever else happened, this moment of Sansa's resistance and pride was incredible:

Rumor has it Ramsay faces Stannis in this season. DON'T. YOU. KILL. MY. PRECIOUS. BABY.

If this is gonna be the show's equivalent of Battle of Ice it makes sense - in the books we will most likely get super epic battle on the frozen lake. But with my luck what's gonna go down in the show? Ramsay torching some tents.

I hope my King kicks his ass. I am however so afraid for him. God, is that what non book readers felt like for 5 years now? How do you live?!

I made a whole bunch of gifsets this week, this being my favorite:

Here are the others. - 1,2,3 The last one is from the promo for this week's episode. Margaery looking feral as fuck.

New episode which is 2 days away and airing on Memorial Day weekend - for the first time since season 2 - finally features Stannis whose facial hair keep getting better and better:

GoT cast did the thing this week:

So all that outrage about Thrones while apparently Outlander has tons of rape? I thought that was some kinky romance show? It looks like some sick depraved series.

Sicario is getting very good reviews which is great. Also Emily Blunt looked absolutely stunning on Cannes Red Carpet.

Here is first spellbinding footage from Macbeth. Hype levels 1000/100.

We have first footage of SHIRTLESS Richard Armitage in Hannibal season 3. Oh my.

So apparently Jack Huston is gonna play the lead in The Crow? How did I miss these news? However what's important is that there is a gender switch and now the main baddie is a woman and may be played by the wonderful Andrea Riseborough. I'm psyched if she is in.

Ah, money!:

First David Lynch returns to Twin Peaks. Of course. They threw more money at him and he is back. Good for him, you cannot make Twin Peaks without him and the man of talent deserve the money....

....however when someone is talentless hack, like Jaime Dornan they do not.

Apparently Dornan will show his penis for additional 1.9mln$ in the next Grey movie. I'm all for full frontal but this is not the case of the actor doing it because he feels it's right. This is the case where an actor is treating his nudity as commodity. Jaime Dornan, you is a whore.

New Harley Quinn and The Joker pictures caused quite a stir. First there is the issue of Joker having hair that are outrageously green. Then he is seen slapping Harley. Again, the riots. Do people who throw hissy fits about this actually know the comic books story? Joker and Harley is the text book example of toxic relationship. Also let's just wait until we see Leto act in legit footage before saying he sucks, shall we?

I saw Every Secret Thing. It has very low score on RT and it's really a decent movie. It's worth seeing especially for the fantastic performances, especially from the great Diane Lane who really should be in more films. Also it's always nice seeing Elizabeth Banks, there is something so likable about her. The film is very disturbing, though - the flashbacks with the little child were very difficult to watch.

I finally saw Mad Max: Fury Road, went to see it after work today, which was the first day it played here. It was so fucking awesome. I was so engaged I didn't think for 2h at all and my mind is always wondering, worrying and thinking. I didn't even think of the possibility of Stannis dying this season - this is the highest praise I can give a movie where it gets me to engage in it to that point. It was honestly the best action movie I've seen - the action was practically relentless but there were still beautiful and poignant characters moments. The score! The visuals! Badass Charlize! Tom Hardy's voice! The guitarist! I'll have my review up soon but it's a very solid 10/10. BTW I went to see it in 2D and it was mind blowing, so I think 3D is not necessary here

Alex reviews Every Secret Thing

Anna writes about Repulsion

Brittani reviews Clouds of Sils Maria

Thaddeus reviews Birdman

Andrew and Ruth participate in MettelRay's Movie Roulette

m.brown reviews Age of Ultron

Keith and Jack review Mad Max: Fury Road

RELATED POSTS:

This week on Thrones we got honest to God consensual sex scene. And that's not even the most shocking development in the episode. Two fan favorites finally meet, Sansa starts doing something other than being miserable - though there is still plenty of that and King Stannis makes me both turned on and incredibly worried.

Here we go:

At the Wall Jon is leaving with Tormund and the rest of the expedition for Hardhome. Thorne yet again informs him what a bad idea it is. Jon and Sam have a heartfelt goodbye moment and Sam gives him Dragonglass in case Jon needs to fight Walkers. Hey you know what happens to people who hug on this show? Bad shit.

Back in Winterhell, Theon brings Sansa food. She is laying on the bed, sobbing and we see she is covered in horrific bruises. She pleads for Theon to help her. She tells him that she is locked all the time and Ramsay rapes her every night. She tries to remind Theon who he is. She tells him her family still has friends in the North and tells him to light a candle in the tower as the distress signal.

We see Theon nod and then walk slowly upstairs. We are led to believe he will help Sansa but it turns out he went to see Ramsay instead. Meanwhile - and I shit you not - we get 8 seconds long shot of Brienne standing in the snow storm, watching that goddamn tower. That moron is outside, in the snowstorm, looking at the tower waiting for the candlelight. Pod is freezing his ass off in the background. This we get. THIS WE GET AND YOU DON'T FEATURE MY LADY?!

Ramsay takes Sansa for a walk, in a scene mirroring Joffrey forcing her to look at her father's decapitated head. Sansa grabs some agency in the form of a corkscrew. Ramsay keeps talking about how good of a commander Stannis is but his army is stuck in the snow. He tells Sansa that one day Winterfell will be Ramsay's. Sansa sasses him about being a bastard being legitimized by another bastard.

Ramsay tells her of how bastards can rise in the world and mentions Jon to her - Sansa, who probably thought Jon is long dead is surprised. I'm sure she also thinks that there is one place she can escape to now. The Wall. Of course Jon has just left to fight a bunch of crap. Good luck, everybody.

Ramsay then shows her the purpose of the walk - the old woman who was helping Sansa is flayed, except for her face and nailed to the cross in the yard. Ramsay tells her that Reek told him everything. We see Reek looking miserable. Sansa cannot hold back tears and is being taken to her chamber again, but only after Ramsay tells her to save the candles because "the nights are long". I almost puked.

I actually guessed a development in the show which is not easy given how the show is no longer following the books, closely, or you know - at all. When I saw crying Sansa in the promo for the episode I figured Ramsay probably flayed gradma ex machina. And it happened! So Reeek's blabbering got the one person who was on Sansa's side killed. Oh excuse me there is still Brienne.

Standing in a snowstorm.

This can still go terribly - because you know, it's Brienne. Also Sansa being locked up plot reminded me of Ramsay locking up his wife in the books, Lady Hornwood, which resulted in her first eating her own fingers and then starving to death.

As you can see, this all can be much, much worse.

On the bright side Sophie and Alfie remain the best thing in this season. And you gotta love Sansa's repeated "Promise me". It echoes something of crucial importance from the books which I imagine we will see on the show. There was another lady in the tower once, begging for someone to make her a promise...

Back in hero's camp Davos is telling Stannis of his worries - the men and horses are dying due of cold and Davos tells Stannis they should turn around. Stannis tells Davos that winter can last for years and they need to strike now. Davos is displeased and Stannis remains stubborn. He also looks very tired and miserable. Like seriously, he looks like he is about to collapse. I was so confused watching this because I was both turned on and disturbed.

Stannis puts his hand on Melisandre's back suggestively. I would die. Melisandre is yet again not only the craziest but the dumbest person on the show and refuses him also telling him how they should burn Shireen as sacrifice. Stannis tells her she is his daughter and violently jerks away from her telling her to get out.

I really hope this bitch dies soon.

Unfortunately, the more I think about the more I'm convinced Stannis dies this season and Melisandre burns Shireen to bring him back. Too many things point to this - mainly van Houten and Cunningham, being very unprofessional again and talking about 'shocking event that feels like conclusion' being in the last episodes. I hate it whenever cast says things like that. Nothing good comes from it. Also I cannot imagine Stannis living and Shireen burning. There is no way he agrees to it. The only other solution is for him simply being away when it happens. But would HBO really allow a scene like that? Adorable child burning alive? I don't know anything anymore.

This is the worst.

Back at Castle Black, beloved Master Aemon dies. Sam gives the eulogy and then Thorne tells him his friends keeps dying. What a prick.

And then! The almost rape! Because of course - Gilly is assaulted by two Watchmen and Sam is fighting them off. He gets beaten pretty bad and just as everything looks horrific Ghost shows up and scares them off. I was so relieved there wasn't another rape, I'm not even gonna wonder why the fuck did Jon leave Ghost behind.

And then Gilly is taking care of Sam and they have sex. Sam lets out "oh my" giving the episode the much needed lighter moment.

In Meereen Jorah is sold to one of the slavers. Tyrion beats up a guy to prove that they are a team and a slaver buys him too. Tyrion then tries talking to him and gets bitchslapped.

Meanwhile, Daenerys is shagging Daario who advices her to kill all the powerful masters in the city. Dany says that she is the Queen not a butcher.

Queen of Thorns speaks to High Sparrow and tries to bribe him and threaten him into letting Margaery and Loras go but he is not impressed with her efforts. She gets a message from Littlefinger and goes to his demolished brothel where they have a talk. Littlefinger tells her he has a gift for her - a handsome, young man. I have no idea who the fuck Batman is talking about.

In King's Landing Tommen is throwing a massive hissy fit because he no longer gets lovin' now that Margaery is imprisoned in black cells. Cersei is manipulating him again saying she will do everything in her power to free Margaery and Loras. Then she holds him and tells him how much she loves Tommen and Myrcella and for once she is sincere. She tells him she would do anything for him. That will be echoed in finale episode in Cersei's most powerful moment yet.

Sweet Jesus, they are making Cersei sympathetic again.

Meanwhile, in Dorne, Jaime tries talking to Myrcella and it goes terribly. What a waste of time that scene was. In the cells Bronn is singing and Sand Snakes listen. Tyene really likes his voice and wants Bronn to tell her she is beautiful.

Enter Sand Snake's boobs. Bronn is getting all lightheaded - also because her knife was poisoned. After she gets him to call her most beautiful she gives him the antidote. It was probably the most fun Sand Snakes scene yet but don't expect me to forget that we are getting this while there is still no sign of Stoneheart.

In Meereen, Dany and her soon to be husband are watching slaves fighting. Jorah and Tyrion are in the same place and as soon as Jorah sees her he wants to fight to impress the Queen . Dany doesn't want to watch the spectacle but before she leaves Jorah, wearing a helmet, comes out and defeats everyone.

Jorah finally takes off the helmet and Daenerys tell the guards to get him out of her sight. Jorah yells that he brought her a gift and Tyrion emerges, having been freed out of chains by some dude (what the hell?).

In the monumental event, one that has not happened in the books (yet) - the two meet. Tyrion tells Daenerys that he is her gift and it's very nice to meet her. He introduces himself and Daenerys looks stunned. It was so awesome seeing that scene.

I'm sure Tyrion is gonna make Daenerys' storyline fun again. Also how delightful that we haven't seen Missandai and Grey Worm for a while now.

Back in King's Landing, Cersei brings Margaery a soup. Margaery is not buying any of her shit and tells her she knows she is behind all of this. She kicks the bowl of soup and calls Cersei a bitch. Cersei is all smug and as she leaves and she tells Margaery to sleep well and calls her "sister"

Cersei stops by to talk with High Sparrow. He starts telling her of religion and history and starts wondering what does Cersei true self looks like. Cersei starts being alarmed but pretends she doesn't know what he is talking about.

High Sparrow proceeds to tell her that a young man came to them a while back, someone who was very troubled. Someone who had a lot to say about Cersei. Lancel emerges from the shadows and Cersei begins to flee but she is apprehended by septas.

Cersei is thrown into the black cell herself and tells septa to look at her face because this is gonna be the last thing that septa sees before she dies. Septa locks her in the cell and the episode ends.

I have really no idea where the hell it's all going. Sansa's escape from Winterfell looks inevitable, but where will she go? To Stannis or to Jon? Also they are both in such shitty situations - one has a fanatic and soon Ramsay chasing him, the other has, well, you'll see in next episodes. And Brienne is fucking useless. I have no idea where it's all going but I'm sure it's nothing good.

Also can someone please maybe learn about Sansa's predicament? Jon knows nothing, Stannis knows nothing and yet Littlefinger and Brienne are running around the realm telling where Sansa is to whoever will listen.

The episode itself other than some scenes that wasted time was very well paced - it was a long episode but you weren't bored for a second and they didn't waste a lot of time on set up scenes - Jon leaving Castle Black was very brief, which I appreciated.

Sansa's storyline finally has Sansa doing something other than being stupid and going along with Littlefinger's plan. Yes, it's a corkscrew, but it's still something. I just hope she kills someone important not Myranda.

Next week it's the biggest battle event of the season in Hardhome - Jon leads the battle, Cersei is subjected to torture in black cells, Sansa tries to get Theon to help her and we see more of Arya's training.
PREVIOUS RECAPS FROM THE SEASON:

Track: Brothers in Arms

Artist: Tom Holkenborg (Junkie XL)

Movie: Mad Max: Fury Road

I'm referring, of course, to the annual Stoneheart hype.

Casting news for season 6 were released on Tuesday and while most fans basically almost shat themselves because Euron Greyjoy (who most assumed was cut) apparently is gonna show up in sixth season. But another tidbit leads me and the others to believe Septon Meribald is gonna be in the show.

He is in Riverlands in the books.

Walder Frey was rumored to be returning a while back.

SHE is in Riverlands....

Daniel Portman, who plays Pod of all people, mentioned that finale this year breaks the Internet

We know from the showurrnes that the last scene of the season is from the published books

What broke the Internet last year? The lack of Stoneheart. What can break the Internet now? Stoneheart!

But wait! It gets worse.

The title for the finale was released and it's "Mother's Mercy". Now, this is the wording straight out of Cersei's chapter that is covered in finale, also it may relate to Selyse but while one of Stoneheart's names is also Mother Merciless...:

"Per AFFC’s appendix: LADY STONEHEART, a hooded woman, sometimes called MOTHER MERCY, THE SILENT SISTER, and THE HANGWOMAN"

There is more - the title for the finale was released later than usual, we are no longer getting 'previously on' clips on GoT Youtube channel before the episode airs and most interestingly for the first time in the history the score is not released in June around finale BUT a whole month later and tracklist always gave us hints to what will happen in the last episode.

Look what I made.

I'm telling you this will go on till the end - they will dangle Stoneheart hope in front of me to get me to watch no matter what happens. It's like torture or something.

I have now decided to just assume everyone I love dies this season of Thrones.

With a bunch of new characters coming, they need to make a room. I think something very tragic and bloody is gonna go down in our Northern storyline. In fact the only one who is safe is Brienne. Everyone else? I see the darkness coming....

I now believe everything is gonna go to shit but it's all gonna be fine as long that after 3 years of waiting and pleading and deciphering insane rumours and fanfic and set info and fucking reading between the lines of every single interview Michelle Fairley has given you will feature the epilogue scene as the end of season 5. Do it and I don't care what amount of pointless Dornish boobs, Jaime's personality changes or the lines cut/changed from the book counterpart for absolutely - I repeat - absolutely no reason you include.

However, how fantastic was this, huh?:

Good God all the Stannis in last ep:

She didn't bang him. AND people wonder why I consider Melisandre to be batshit crazy?! Seriously?

Of course I made an episode gifset:

JESUS CHRIST the one in the middle.

I loved how he told that psychotic bitch with horrible taste in men to get out

I also made a separate one for his tongue and smile:

Don't you dare fucking judge me.

There was such sad finality in the last moment we saw Stannis in this episode. I have such horrible feeling this may be it for him this year. I have preemptively and subconsciously chose a back up reason to live.

His name is Tom Hardy.

I should have known I was in trouble when he spoke in Mad Max and a gigantic red alert signal appeared in my brain with the words "oh no, he is hot".

And then I saw this:

I'm doomed now.

I'm gonna see The Drop and Locke today. I was gonna see Locke on Tuesday but I figured I cannot take this much this early in a week.

Is Peaky Blinders and Wuthering Heights worth seeing for him? Recommend me stuff! Just not Bronson - I'm looking for hot versions of Tom, preferably unshaven.

Oh God. My life is so sad, isn't it?

Work is ridiculous because the judges are on their holiday vacation so I have literally almost nothing to do. So I read up Esquire interview with Tom. He seems so cool! And what is it about him choking Inarittu when he was being a dick? I like you, sir!

I have very little to no idea who the hell those people who won in Cannes are, however, YAY Rooney!

That's it. This is all I can tell you from the news this week because I've been on board of Stoneheart hype train. Choo fucking choo. And yes, that's The Thick of it reference

Andrew blogs about Cannes Film Festival

Ruth writes about Mad Max: Fury Road

Brittani recaps recent episode of Game of Thrones

Anna writes about Shame

Irene reviews Every Secret Thing

Alex wrote a post about all the films of Alfred Hitchcock

m.brown reviews Pitch Perfect 2

RELATED POSTS:

It's really hard to describe Mad Max: Fury Road. It is first and foremost a film you need to experience. No amount of words and descriptions can really help you understand or prepare you for the film's hellish pace, spellbinding visuals and intensity.

In a world where we are bombarded with run of the mill disaster movies, comic book inspired films that have became repetitive and tedious since the novelty wore off a a while back, forgettable action flicks with interchangeable plots starring the same actors over and over again, mark my words when I tell you - Mad Max: Fury Road is a miracle.

I haven't seen any of the previous Mad Max movies but it doesn't matter - what that movie does is that it takes you in and drops you - mercilessly - right in the center of the events in this bizarre, unique world. We follow Max, a drifter who is captured and used as a blood doner. We also follow Furiosa, the soldier of the film's villain Immortan Joe, who goes rogue. Soon Max and Furiosa join forces and try to survive. And everything is shot in a way that is so dynamic and detailed, you feel like you are aboard the war rig with them

The film is essentially a relentless, impossibly intense chain of action sequences, or a one long car chase if you will - it never really let's go of the tempo, the threat of capture and suspense is always present, even in the quieter, poignant character moments. What is so unique about Mad Max: Fury Road is the balance of the information - there is very little exposition here, George Miller simply shows you things and you have to deal with them. We know just enough to care about the ones being chased and fear the ones chasing them, but there is still enough of unknown to make everyone involved fascinating and enigmatic.

There are no explanations given behind many curious and odd elements - the weird chrome substance sprayed on one's lips, what exactly happened to the world that it became such a wasteland, what happened to Max, what is the reason for weird deformations. But the answers to these questions wouldn't really change anything and given how little we know about the world and the characters we see, the film remains mysterious, fun and unpredictable.

Another thing is that the film is so gripping you cannot take your eyes off the screen and your mind doesn't have the time to go "Hey, where is your arm?" while looking at Furiosa.

But seriously, what's up with the arm?

What I also loved about Fury Road is that it had R rating but it didn't really have that much violence or gory stuff. There was some nudity, some unpleasant implications and few moments of gore but it was tamer than most R rated movies. However, I felt because this film was made with R rated category intent, Miller didn't have to worry about toning anything down. In the effect the film is delightfully out of control and doesn't feel overly calculated like most movies with gore, violence or nudity feel these days, when whilst watching them you can actually sense the director's residual nervousness over what MPAA makes out of this.

The film has very strong feminist element - Furiosa is helping in the escape of the five "wives" of Immortan Joe. They are not damsels in distress, rather damsels in horrible situation who stand up and decide to find a better life. What's fantastic is that these are not some incapable meek creatures but girls who are bursting with anger and their desire to rid themselves of male dominion.

Those wives (played by models Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Courtney Eaton and Abbey Lee, Lenny's daughterZoë Kravitz and Elvis' granddaughterRiley Keough), contrasted with the wasteland of sand, dirt and violence look otherworldly. Though they are supporting characters, they are distinct and we root for each of them. Let it speak volumes that you remember more about the wives than any of the dwarfs in The Hobbit trilogy, in spite of them being on the screen for what was probably an hour instead of 3 excruciatingly long movies.

Because it doesn't matter how long you show a character. When you have a great script, even succinct one and the right actors, you conjure cinematic magic and that is exactly what happened here. Lated into the movie we meet older generation of women who are trying to survive and the interactions between the two groups are just lovely.

At the center of all of this is Furiosa and both the character and the wonderful Charlize Theron are a worthy successor to Sarah Connor and Ellen Ripley. Furiosa is tough, brave and fierce but she is also very human. The scene of her falling on the sand in despair is instantly iconic and Theron finally has a part worthy of her talent, for the first time since underrated Young Adult.

Then there is Tom Hardy who is wonderful and he is not given the easiest task - Max truly is mad, plagued by hallucinations from his tragic past. Hardy shows it wonderfully with his expressions and body language, same goes for Max's inner emotions. He is so primal with his movements but there is also wounded, kind heart in there which Hardy shows so well.

Theron and Hardy play off each other so well. They say so much just using their eyes - the scene where they exchange the first glances between each other is great - Max sees someone who is different than others and Furiosa sees a potential ally. Then when they meet again Furiosa treats Max as what he basically is - a wounded animal, trying to survive. She studies him carefully because she knows he can strike at any moment. She is like a tigress, protecting her cubs.

Max ends up helping Furiosa and the girls - he is not just there because he wants to stay alive, the more he sees of the women's spirit and Furiosa's skills and determination he puts his life in harm's way because he probably feels his is worth less than theirs. He is gradually more and more impressed with these women and in the end gives them everything he has, much like another male character Nux. What's great about the story is that they all work as a team together.

That there is no romance in the movie doesn't feel like calculated decision to make the film different. There are sparks between the main characters and in any other movie there would be a follow up to those sparks, but here, in this world who has the time for this nonsense when you are constantly fighting to survive?

The film has a lot of lovely symbolism that's actually not in your face and while obvious, it's still disguised as plot elements - take for instance the journey that Furiosa plans - 160 days through the land of salt that was presumably once an ocean. She and the women go that road after the hope is lost and Furiosa finds out that the Green Place, where she was born and she was taking the women, is no more. The journey through salty wasteland is the illustration of the hope lost. But there is still survival instinct so instead of suicide they will go for as long as they can, on their own terms.

The execution is so brilliant you really cannot take your eyes off the screen. The pure action is shown with such artistry and dynamics it's like watching the violent, bloody ballet of people, weapons, cars and fire. It's one of those movies where you genuinely cannot believe someone was able to make it. Shot in sequence, the film is truly a wonder.

Over 80% of the effects seen in the film are real practical effects, stunts, make-up and sets. CGI was used sparingly mainly to enhance the Namibian landscape, remove stunt rigging and for Charlize Theron's left hand which in the film is a prosthetic arm. The minimal approach definitely shows - everything feels raw and organic.

The visuals in the movie are absolutely breathtaking and the set pieces are genuinely unique. The storm Furiosa drives in, the creepy place with the crows and the ending shots of the movie are truly a thing to witness.

The film looks absolutely gorgeous and is such an explosion of colors - the most memorable shot for me was when Furiosa and Max are driving into the night and everything is blue except for wives in the background, holding a lantern which bathes them in the yellow light.

Then there is the music by Junkie XL's Tom Holkenborg. It adds so much to the movie and it's just fantastic - at times heavy and electronic, at other times lyrical and grand. The track Brothers in Arms, which plays during the chase after the rig leaves the canyon and Furiosa and Max work together for the first time is one of the finest movie tracks in years.

And that's the beauty of the story - the most awe inspiring moment in this scene is not the great music, editing or action - it's the teamwork between the two main characters where they wordlessly and instinctively unite in their fight for freedom.

That is ultimately the heart of the movie and nowadays we don't get many movies with a heart, let alone movies as excellent as this one.

Mad Max: Fury Road
(2015, 120 min)
Plot: In a stark desert landscape where humanity is broken, two rebels just might be able to restore order: Max, a man of action and of few words, and Furiosa, a woman of action who is looking to make it back to her childhood homeland.
Director: George Miller
Writers: George Miller, Brendan McCarthy
Stars: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult

OH MY GOD.

You guys!

I'm still shaking a bit and picking up my jaw off the floor after it hit it pretty much the moment the mist appeared, but before I talk about the battle scene, let's go back to the beginning of Hardhome, undoubtedly the finest episode of the season and one of the best episodes of the show so far.

We open with Jorah and Tyrion standing before Daenerys. Tyrion tries to show his worth and convince Daenerys not to kill him. In the process of all of that he tells her that Jorah shouldn't be by her side because he betrayed her. So Daenerys sends Jorah away, again. Jorah's life = misery porn.

In King's Landing, Cersei is locked in a cell, beaten by sadistic septa and in general, looking like hell.

In Braavos, Arya is making her progress in the training. In the books her nickname was CAT of the canals and here it's Lanna. Is it perhaps not to confuse her with the other Cat? Please tell me it's the case.

Anyways Jaqan tells Waif that perhaps Arya is not ready with her mission, which is apparently offing some gambler with poisoned sea food, but the Many Faced God doesn't really care. Ah, the nihilism.

Back in King's Landing, Cersei gets her only visitor - her faithful crazy BFF Qyburn. Qyburn has whole lot of shitty info for her - she is accused of fornication, incest and the killing of King Robert. Tommen has gone emo and refuses to eat or leave his room. Kevan is back, he is now the Hand of the King and he doesn't intend to visit. And Jaime? Jaime didn't write back. Understandable, as he is busy navigating the shit land of Dorne and its many boobs and pointless Myrcella scenes.

Qyburn advises Cersei to confess but she doesn't want to hear any of it. He tells her 'the work continues'. I bet even the non book readers can kinda see where this is all going.

In Winterfell we get fantastic moment with Sansa and Theon. Theon brings her food and Sansa is furious that he told Ramsay about her plan to escape. Theon tells her he was trying to help. Sansa tells him if she could do to him what Ramsay did she would. She tells Theon that her family is dead because of him and reminds him that he killed her little brothers Rickon and Bran.

Theon finally admits the truth that he couldn't find Rickon and Bran so he killed two farm boys. Sansa tries to find out where the brothers are but Reek, horrified that he said too much runs away.

Then we get a quick scene with the Boltons. Apparantly Stannis has 6000 men. Roose says they should wait for Stannis and his men to starve and freeze. But Ramsay says they should take the fight to Stannis and that he only needs 20 men.

Well good luck, Ramsay. Will you fight shirtless with knives again? I hope your dick falls off.

Back in Meereen we get tremendous scene with Tyrion and Daenerys. Peter Dinklage is really a miracle worker - with him to accompany her, Emilia Clarke was the best she has been this season yet. Their banter was so good and the two talked about their prospects. Daenerys finally decides that she won't kill Tyrion and that she wants him to advise her. She then delivers her famous speech from the trailer about how the powerful houses in Westeros are spokes in the wheel and she is gonna break that wheel.

Meanwhile, Jorah the Reject finds the slaver and tells him he wants to fight in the pit for his Queen. This is gonna end in tears, isn't it?And not just Jorah's but ours too.

In King's Landing again - Cersei now tries to bribe the septa but she refuses over and over telling Cersei to confess. Cersei threatens her with death again and the septa pours the water on the floor. Cersei licks it off the floor as Rains of Castamere plays in the background. Lady is dead because of you. You deserve this.

Back at Castle Black Gilly is tending Sam's wounds when Olly, the little shit, comes over to whine how Jon went to save the wildlings and Olly's family was slaughtered by them. Sam tells him that Jon is doing what needs to be done and tells Olly that Jon always come back.

AND HARDHOME!

We see Jon on a boat along with Tormund and Edd. There are ships, borrowed from Stannis, behind them. They get out and there is a bunch of hostile wildlings on the shore. Tormund speaks with Lord of the Bones who is disgusted that Tormund is allies with the crows. He asks if Tormund sucks Jon's cock and in response Tormund kills the Lord of Bones by bashing his head with his own axe.

Jon and the rest then talk to the wildling leaders. Jon tells them they have to unite if they want to win or even stand a chance against White Walkers. He tells them of Dragonglass and how it can kill the Walkers. He offers the wildlings safe passage and land if they join. He admits to killing Mance, but Tormund explains to the wildlings that Jon shooting Mance with an arrow was an act of courage and mercy.

Jon delivers really awesome speech about how they should stand up and give the fuckers a fight. The wildlings, among them a girl named Karsi, join him because of Tormund and the fact they trust him. But one of the wildlings Loboda is against the idea because the crows are "the real enemy".

The widllings are getting on boats and Karsi puts her children there, telling them she is right behind them. Suddenly the dogs start barking and my thoughts immediately go to 'omg someone save the dogs'. There is some shift in the air, uneasiness. And then a gigantic fucking mist/snow storm appears in the distance and is rapidly heading towards the gate.

Everyone starts freaking out and Loboda orders the gate to be closed, shutting some of the wildlings there. There are screams and suddenly there is silence. Loboda peaks through and we see a fucking skeleton and white walkers charge on the gate.

All hell breaks lose and people start hauling ass to the boats. The wights and Walkers are attacking, savegly biting and ripping apart the wildlings. Tormund tells Jon that if the Walkers get through everyone is dead. Jon takes out his Valyrian steel sword Longclaw and begins fighting the wights.

Jon and Edd look up and there are Walkers on horses, on the cliff. That was a truly chilling shot which really brought Horsemen of the Apocalypse to mind. We get a badass shot of Jon running to the hut where dragonglass is.

Loboda joins him. The hut is burning and suddenly through the flames an actual Walker appears. Loboda tries to fight him off and is killed by ice sword. Jon tries to get to dragonglass but fails and gets stabbed. He gets up, though, grabs Longclaw and we get amazing moment when the Longclaw clashes with ice sword and to surprise of both the Walker and Jon doesn't break.

It was speculated that Valyrian steel is effective against Walkers and we got a conformation here. Another Valyrian steel sword? Well that was Ned's Ice, reforged into Widow's Wail, Joffrey Sword - where the fuck is it now? - and Oathkeeper, the one which Brienne has with her as she stands pointlessly outside the gates of Winterfell waiting for the candle to be lit.

Jon kills the Walker with Lonclaw and we move up he cliff where none other than baby-turning leader of the Walkers, Night's King sees the scene of Jon killing one of his boys.

Next we see Karsi, fighting bravely....until she sees horrific Walkers children. She stops, horrified, saddened and shocked and the children attack her and kill her.

Edd helps Jon up and then we see swarm of wights falling off the cliff. They stand up and begin chasing them and then everyone REALLY starts running. Jon, Tormund and Edd get on the boat and they all look like they are in the state of shock.

As they are slowly sailing away we still see the Walkers and wights slaughtering the wildlings. Then, slowly, the Night's King moves forward, eyes locked on Jon. He raises his arms slowly and as he does this the fallen, including Karsi, rise as wights. Jon has the expression of true horror on his face while Tormund has tears in his eyes. The survivors sail away.

This has been by far the best battle sequence on the show yet. Not only was it very well done and atmospheric - the shots of the mist, horsemen and Night;'s King silently watching the carnage were absolutely chilling - but it was far more engaging than last year's overrated and overhyped Battle of the Wall.

This entire sequence at Hardhome was about 25- 30 long but you actually cared about the people involved and feared the villains because unless you have dragonglass - which was left in the hut, Jon carry your purse with you, goddamn! - or Valerian steel - and the entire expedition had one, in the form of Longclaw, those villains are impossible to kill.

Then there is the writing which was so good especially with the character of Karsi - we meet this brave woman and we think oh OK so this is a new character and we will see more of her. And then she is killed. That showed the senselessness of Walkers so well - anyone can be killed and they are, at that moment in time, unstoppable.

There was also such sense of mourning and tragedy in the ending as the brave men who went there to help couldn't do anything to help these people. The scene was almost silent as were the ending credits which only added to the seriousness of the depicted events.

Though they weren't in the show since the beginning of last season all it took was this brilliant Hardhome sequence to really illustrate just how big of a threat the Walkers are. Daenerys and Tyrion are drinking, Cersei is in the cell and the Boltons have Winterfell but in the big scope of things all of those things will stop to matter when the Walkers arrive.

The rest of the episode was also fantastic though I hope we see more of Cersei's struggle and Tyrion and Dany interactions. It was great seeing Qyburn again. The performances were amazing starting with Sophie Turner and Alfie Allen in another strong scene, Lena Headey being the best she was this season and Kit Harington yet again giving us terrific work as Jon, especially in the ending.

There is also Birgitte Hjort Sørensenwho managed to bring so much charm and charism as Karsi and my favorite performance from Kristofer Hivju as Tormund. The tears in his eyes in the ending of the episode said it all.

Next week it's The Dance of Dragons - Stannis marches, Dorne hopefully reaches its conclusion for the season, Arya faces difficulty in her training and Daenerys? Oh, I won't say anything.
PREVIOUS RECAPS FROM THE SEASON:

First of all everyone needs to stand the fuck up and give a round of applause to Alex who has saw ENTIRE 4 seasons and the episodes of 5th season of Game of Thrones that aired so far in one week. 48 Game of Thrones episodes. In ONE week. Now I don't think anyone will get offended when I say Alex knows - and most likely saw - more than all of us combined so when he says he likes the show - which he did - this is the highest praise. I'm so psyched my psychotic non-stop ramblings about the show which have been going on here and on my twitter FOR YEARS actually got someone to watch the show. This is so awesome!

I'm so proud of myself. I got a good person to spend their week watching a show that features stabbing a pregnant woman in the stomach, rape, murder, more rape, more murder and Starks being fucked over since episode 1 while Boltons dine in Winterfell. And now Alex will also know the pain of waiting 10 goddamn months for the next season after the finale airs in 9 days.

I saw The Drop. Can I have him please? I don't mean the dog.

Can I sleep on your leg? I won't do anything naughty.

That was a lie.

...

The film was really quite unique as was Hardy's character. Noomi Rapace was so lucky in this movie. Also the ending was so brilliant! not sure why people think it was ambiguous, it's obvious what happened.

I also rewatched Inception. You know that is actually a decent movie if everything you do while watching it is lusting after Hardy.

Soundtrack for Game of Thrones tracklist got released this week and the digital score drops this Tuesday. There is a track Mother's Mercy - for the last two years the last track of the episode is the titular track. It has quite creepy vibe and very sad version of Rains playing - and it's not the track for the Walk which must be Atonement - let's hope this one also closes the episode and accompanies a Mother who is most certainly not a Lannister but there is a very good reason to have Rains playing in her track.

Guys listen to the sample for it here - and now listen to this. Have I gone completely barshit or does the base sound sound the same? It does, doesn't it?

For the love of God make it happen I'm going insane for the third time.

OMG JON in that last episode was so badass. But Tormund won the episode:

DAZNAK IN 2 DAYS! That's right we are 2 days away from one of the most iconic moments from the books:

Do you guys wanna get hype? This has the potential to be more epic than Hardhome. I'm fucking serious. If they did it right and had the budget this will be the most epic scene on the show yet.

Also Stannis is gonna be in this episode! But Ramsay is gonna raid his camp....please don't hurt my baby or Davos or Shireen! But go ahead and burn them two crazy bitches.

I think my subconsciousness sensed that I was kinda cheating on Stephen with Tom lately and you know what happened? I had a sex dream about Stephen last night.

I won't go into details. Google would probably shut down this site if I did.

But it was excellent.

Check out my comments on Brittani's review. Yep, hilarious stuff and not at all creepy.

oh my God that Macbeth trailer!

That cinematography is incredible. And Michael and Marion both look fantastic in their roles.

Rumour has itJason Statham may be Bullseye in the next season of Daredevil. Oh God. Please make it happen! Though it appears Jason is not a big fan of super hero movies.

I'm gonna see Spy next week and I'm so super psyched for it. Jason hasn't been in proper comedy since Snatch and it's one of my all time favorite movies. And I love Melissa! She is great. The film is getting such good reviews too.

Meanwhile Emily Bluntis gonna star in the adaptation of The Girl on a Train which sounds very intriguing. I'm gonna start reading the book tomorrow.

I am currently enjoying my five days off work, which means that since I'm gonna go to work on Tuesday - and inevitably find out everyone was looking for me and wondering how the hell did I have the audacity to take whole 2 days off work - I can sleep in on Monday which means for the first time in this season I'll be able to watch Thrones live. With my luck either the stream will die or the whole fucking electricity blows up in the neighborhood. But let's hope that doesn't happen.

Andrew and Josh make their monthly Oscar predictions

Wendell reviews The Drop

Dan reviews Spy

Brittani recaps recent episodes of Game of Thrones and Veep

m.brown reviews The Boy Next Door

Courtney lists top reasons to see Mad Max: Fury Road

MettelRay reviews The Voices

Check out Ruth's June edition of Five for Fifth

Thaddeus reviews wonderful Wild

RELATED POSTS:

It is this time during GoT season when I get to use the words that only those who read the books understand.

These dumb as fuck showrunners, oh my God.

In a stroke of one episode I went from loving Stannis and hoping he never dies and hating Brienne for even considering killing him to begging, begging the gods to have Brienne put Oathkeeper through his heart so that I no longer have to witness the massacre of his character by the writers and Stephen Dillane no longer has to navigate the labyrinth of how shite Stannis' character development is. You could actually see him wonder what the hell is this mess during his scenes last night.

The worst part? Is that the writers are probably proud of themselves. They probably think they showed Stannis as this tragic figure who has to make a sacrifice. But here is what they are forgetting - there are times where their writing sucks ass so bad it actually makes all the good scenes pale in the comparison to its awfulness. And that is the most spectacularly shitty example of that.

We know Stannis held Storm End for a year. Starving, suffering. But he held it. We know Shireen is his only heir. We know he loves her. We know he intends to fight White Walkers and that his army is dying. But we saw one scene depicting the death march. 40 horses died. Yes, Ramsay attacked and there is no food.

But if you are trying to tell me that the man who held Storm End while starving would burn his own daughter alive because there is no food supply, that he would effectively end his house - there is no other heir, Gendry is fucking rowing somewhere - that he would kill his own daughter because psychotic nymphomaniac tells him it will help you must think I am fucking crazier than I am.

This is the dumbest thing the show has ever done. And worse they could make it work - they could show at least one scene with Shireen suffering and freezing so that Stannis deciding to burn her would almost look like mercy. But they didn't. Stannis burning Shireen makes Sansa getting raped by Ramsay look like a brilliant and well established storyline.

Yes, there were hints to this happening in the books and people long suspected Shireen will burn. But never that Stannis would be involved in it. In the grand scope of things he is saving the kingdom by committing enormous sacrifice and perhaps we will see the scenes of him grieving over his decision later on but the show is continuously committing the grave sin of terrible set up.

For example - had that scene been included in Hardhome where there was so much impact on the unstoppable threat of White Walkers it would soften the blow. Here we have Stannis sacrificing his own daughter so he can continue marching on in his campaign which is ultimately targeted at stopping the Walkers. But they chose to feature this scene here.

I'm not even mad at where that storyline went but that set up - the little time they spent showing Stannis' true intentions - stopping the Others, how much he must sacrifice and how difficult it is is just appalling. Instead of showing us more of his army dying and suffering and more scenes of Stannis talking of how grave of a threat The Others are they spent their time on boobs in Dorne.

Another thing - get your shit together HBO. The first four episodes of the season leaked. The Inside the Episode videos for at least two episodes leaked before the episodes air. There are people on facebook groups who watch the episode early and leak the storyline. And yesterday one of HBO on Demand sites fucked up and someone actually manage to upload screencaps hours before the episode aired.

In the books Stannis says to one of his knights that in case he falls in the battle he has to make sure that Shireen gets the Throne because 'he has a duty to his daughter'. In the show he allows burning her alive and in the promo for next episode he swings his sword all badass like 'fuck yeah burning my daughter worked'. I hate myself for finding that shot so goddamn hot.

How in good conscience could I possibly root for him now? And can we talk about how the scene played out? Shireen screaming for her father and mother, even the soldiers getting uncomfortable, Selyse, the woman who seemed to hate that child crying and begging Stannis to stop (amazing acting from Tara Fitzgerald here) and Stannis standing there doing nothing? Couldn't you fuckers at least have him cry? WHY?!

Apparently Martin told the writers of this scene. But I bet you that Martin simply told them she burns, not that Stannis does it. And they went and did this. I'm not surprised since Benioff and Weiss care - and know - very little of this storyline. They actualy said in the interview today that the first time we saw Stannis and Melisandre on the show they were burning people alive. That's so incorrenct.

And there was even a moment with Stannis talking that if a man knows what he is he must stay true to himself. You are a father! You are an honorable man! What the fuck have you done?

Yes, in season two we had Melisandre say " Thousands will die at your command. You will betray the men serving you, you will betray your family, you will betray everything you once held dear…and it will all be worth it, because you are the Son of Fire, you are the Warrior of Light". But here is the thing BOOK SPOILERSStannis is not Azor Ahai. Jon is. All of this is for nothing. END OF BOOK SPOILERS

Davos finds out what happened next week. Here's hoping he kills Melisandre. Or Roose captures her and flays her to death.

Why would the people care who wins the battle of Winterfell now? Do we really want Sansa next to Stannis and Melisandre? I'm hoping she manages to escape just by using corkscrew and Reek.

Also Stannis is basically a shell now. He has sold his soul to red crazy bitch, she has used up his dick so much that according to what she says he probably cannot have more children and he killed his only heir. He is not a King. He is the Lord of Light's plot device now.

You cannot sell what was done in any shape or form as the act done for greater good. Stannis sent Davos away. Because he knows killing Shireen is evil. There is no turning back now.

Echoing what Davos answered him when Stannis asked a while back, what's one life against a kingdom?

EVERYTHING.

At least I laughed at one point of the day where I read the comment "Blackfish will burst in and pee on the fire to put it out."

Please just kill Stannis. Spare me and Stephen more misery.

Let's just move on from this abomination of a storyline.

Jon returns with rescued wildlings and Thorne reluctantly lets them all in. He mentions how Jon has a good heart and it will get everyone killed. The watchers are less than thrilled that Jon brought wildings to the Wall

In Braavos Mace Tyrell and Meryn Trant visit the dickish banker Tycho. While there Arya spots Meryn who is on her kill list. She follows him around and her storyline finally becomes interesting. He goes to the brothel, because it's Game of Thrones, and to add the reasons for us wanting him dead - as we didn't have enough already - it turns out he is a pedo. Arya returns to House of Black and White and lies to Jaqen about her mission.

In Dorne we get more pointless stuff but at least Alexander Siddig finally has something to do. He pardons Ellaria. She then goes to Jaime and talks to him abut love. I don't understand why the writers thought any of that story had to be included in the show. But the end result is that Trystane, Myrcella, Bronn and Jaime are going back to King's Landing.

And it's Daznak. One of the most iconic and anticipated moments for book readers but leave it for D&D to put it alongside the awfulness that is the burning of Shireen.

The pit looked awesome and the sequence was great, so great that it literally saved the episode.

Daenerys clapped her hands and the fight began, of two gladiators set to fight to the death for the enjoyment of the Queen and the crowd.

We got some Tyrion approved sass from Khaleesi targeted at her future husband. Daario gave a lenghty speech about how the quick win over the strong ones and the quick one got beheaded.

And then Jorah, the friendzoned, appears to fight for his Queen. Daenerys stars him down and claps her hands ordering him to fight to others. Jorah fights to the death and wins and then throws his spear next to Queen's head....

right into one of the Son of the Harpy who began attacking.

Dany's husband to be gets whacked, but no one really cares. Daario, Tyrion and Jorah try protecting Daenerys and Missandai. We got a lovely wordless moment between Jorah and Dany when she finally forgives him and takes his hand.

The group is in the center of the Daznak Pit. The harpies are closing in to them and as Dany takes Missandai's hand, readying herself to die...

...they hear a roar.

And then Drogon appears. He starts burning the harpies and fighting them off. He has arrived to rescue Daenerys. He lands next to her and the harpies are throwing spears at him, some of them hitting him. Daenerys yells out to him and comes closer.

Drogon looks at her and doesn't hurt her. BECAUSE EVEN DROGON KNOWS YOU DON'T BURN YOUR OWN FUCKING FAMILY.

Dany jumps on his back and in an awesome moment that would have make all of us go "fuck yeah" if our souls weren't crashed by the previous events of the episode, she gives Drogon a command to fly in High Valyrian and just like that, Daenerys Targaryen, the mother of dragons and Drogon take flight.

It was a short but glorious moment set to yet another version of Ramin Djawadi's Mother of Dragons theme. The episode ended with Tyrion, Jorah, Daario and Missandai looking at their Queen flying away.

This was a very good episode mostly thanks to Dany's scene and the brilliant acting from everyone. It is unnerving that the show has now put the entire dramatic weight in Northern storyline on Sansa. No one can really back Stannis now and I doubt many back Roose so now all we care about is Sansa and we know how the writers like to treat her like the punching bag. Hopefully both Sansa and Brienne give us someone to really root for in the finale. In the books at the time of the battle every reader prays for Stannis. Here, who cares anymore?

Benioff and Weiss chose the worst possible moment for Shireen burning. It is not coming off not as something done to fight the Others, but as something done to melt the snow to free Winterfell. They have deprived the audience of a hero to root for and gave the show more tragedy in the form of that scene. And given what's coming in finale? Just how much tragedy can the audience handle?

Arya's storyline improved and who knows where the show will leave her by the end of next episode. Dorne was largely pointless, I wish something just exploded there and killed everyone other than Jaime and Bronn.

Next week it's the season finale, Mother's Mercy. Stannis marches, tensions at the Wall are getting even worse and Cersei asks for forgiveness. Also watch the show jerk me around for the third year in the row and most likely not introducing Stoneheart yet again.

PREVIOUS RECAPS FROM THE SEASON:

Sophie Turner as Sansa Stark in season 5 finale "Mother's Mercy"

Here are my favorite tracks from the soundtrack for the 5th season of Game of Thrones. Ramin Djawadi has yet again proved to be the most reliable person on board - the soundtrack is again the best thing about the show. Though curiously there doesn't seem to be few tracks for the events we will definitely see in finale:

Mother's Mercy
from episode 10
scene: Most likely Cersei scene, hopefully something much better

Dance of Dragons
from episode 9
scene: Daenerys and Drogon in the end

Atonement
from episode 10
scene: The Walk

The Wars to Come
from episode 10
scene: Sansa/Boltons/Stannis/Brienne

Throne for the Game
from episode 10
scene: end credits

Thank God I foundHardy because if I 1. didn't 2. didn't know beforehand what kind of crap Thrones is gonna pull off in the recent episode, my heart would break so much harder than it did

Good Lord, Locke. I just want Hardy to be driving a car and talking in this accent forever. The only thing that would make it better is if he was shirtless

Also I saw most of Peaky Blinders. What a terrific show. Tom's character doesn't have enough scenes, though, he is only in 5 episodes so far and has about 1 scene per episode but...

....he is so amazing in it. He's totally insane but in a sexy I wanna ride you but you are crazy kind of way not you burned your daughter and I cannot look at you anymore crazy kind of way.

Also the soundtrack consists just out of Nick Cave and PJ Harvey's songs so it is absolutely divine.

I cannot even talk about that Stannis scene. In one episode he went from my fav character to me feeling like those women who write love letters to killers on death row. I love him so much, but he burned his child. BUT he burned her so that the world was saved. BUT he burned her. BUT he also probably saved thousands of other little girls. Oh Gods, what shall I do?

This is so fucked up, so fucked up. The writing in this scene, the set up to it and its timing were so wrong. This could have been done and we would still root for him no question, if it was established properly this is his only choice and if Shireen doesn't die now, she will die with the entire world. But the way it was in the show, where the army was not on the brink of death yet, nor was Shireen, it is in direct contradiction with everything we know about the character - to the point that I myself, who know how crazy the writers can get, denied there is any chance, any chance Stannis would allow for Shireen to be burned.

There is a shot of Stannis taking out his sword in the promo:

I'm so weak. He is too hot for me to abandon him.

Get this - spoilery screencaps from finale leaked. One deals with Cersei and the other one? HUGE SPOILERSshows Selyse hanging. She apparently commits suicide due to guilt. So Stannis is single now. A week ago I'd be like oh my God yes marry Sansa! It's gonna be awesome! Now? I'm dead inside but....Deep, deep down he is a good man. And he wouldn't have need to burn Sansa. Plus he is so handsome and they both went through hell. Unlike Ramsay at least he'd treat her like a lady. Which probably means that D&D won't make one good thing out of this hellhole of a plot - have Stephen show Stannis' guilt and grief over Shireen and have him killed by Brienne or something. Oh, Jesus. END OF SPOILERS

The biggest leaked thing is SPOILERS the shot of Jon seemingly dead and bleeding END OF SPOILERS I'm gonna be furious if this is what closes the episode and allegedly 'breaks the Internet'. I'm sure even the non book readers guessed something like this can happen.

The two reasons I watch the show is Stannis and possibility of Stoneheart. Where is she? I need her now more than ever.

I'm serious -

Where is she?

Meanwhile, Kit Harington was hilarious on late night shows lately.

Moving on to more pleasant things, I'm seeing Spy tomorrow and I'm so psyched. Jason in the comedy for the first time in 15 years!

It looks hysterical!

I'm going with my friend who is also a big fan of Melissa but doesn't like Jason much. I keep telling him - it's better if he is in the movies they show on our TV stations, him not someone like Ryan Gosling. At least Statham looks like a man.

New Veep episode was so fantastic. Iannucci also did an episode like that in the final season of The Thick of It - just the deposition scenes, we didn't get to see anything outside the room. It was even more impressive with The Thick of It because the episode was an hour long, but Veep was great too, I particularly loved Mike and Gary being interviewed.

Hannibal....so I haven't seen last episode yet but I finally finishes season 2 and I saw the new season premiere. Bedelia....Anderson still walking around as if she was heavily sedated. Thank God the show still has some amazing visuals.

What's new with me? On top of Stoneheart Anxiety and Stannis heartbreak, Gustav has been photobombing me relentlessly this week:

I had 5 days long weekend last week so I was finally able to watch GoT live, while drinking wine. Thank God, this was this episode I happened to be able to drink while watching, because there is no way I could have watched it sober. 4 AM and I was left sobbing and in disbelief. Good times.

I'm not gonna be online much on Sunday and Monday. If the definitive word on final shot of the episode doesn't surface until Sunday, I'm in lockdown mode. I want to go into the misery unspoiled. I'm kinda playing a Russian roulette here - only with fully loaded gun. If she is not in, I'll be livid and my head explodes. If she is in and I see her after 3 years of waiting I don't know what will happen to me. It's probably gonna be like in this episode of South Park where Kenny's dad had nose bleed and at at the same time he was puking and shitting himself. So if I'm not online on Sunday and Monday - I just haven't had the chance to see finale yet. But if I'm not online and probably furiously ranting on twitter on Tuesday? Oh, boy.

m.brown reviews Max Mad: Fury Road

MrRumsey wrtes about Tom Hardy's wonderful work in Locke

Andrew shares recent news and thoughts about movie world

Brittani recaps recent Game of Thrones episode

Ruth reviews Spy and Josh praises Jason Statham's performance

Alex features Benicio del Toro in his In Character series

RELATED POSTS:

I'm declining to rate this episode.

Let's just get the bitterness out of the way:

I watched the show for two reasons - Stannis and the chance of Lady Stoneheart. Stannis is now dead in the woods and Stoneheart isn't even on the show.

This....is not great.

Stannis? They have assassinated his character last week when he made the decision to burn his daughter alive. Then his wife committed suicide. Then it turned out that burning Shireen only bought him a bit of sun to melt the snow because Stannis lost in the battle of Winterfell. Then Brienne finds him and swings her sword intending to kill him. Because of Renly. Off screen.

One of two things is happening here - either Stannis is dead and they couldn't even give him a badass on screen death or in a shitty cliffhanger move we are supposed to be wondering what happened. What else will you do to him if he is alive? Turn him into wight? Flay him? Fuck you, you repulsive bastards.

You have broken the unbreakable man. You had honorable man kill his daughter. You turned the one lord who recognizes the threat of White Walkers into someone who lost against fucking Boltons. You had him killed without putting up a fight. Neither of the above happened in Martin's books.

I have seen you get the character wrong for years. Then you finally get it right and then do a full turn and wreck the character. Then in finale you have him lose, you have him wounded and you have him beaten. And worst of all you underused the incredible talent of Stephen Dillane. I hope Stannis is dead because you don't deserve Stephen on this show.

And as for Stoneheart? Mother's Mercy, which is ridiculously close to one of her nicknames in the books turned out to be the 3rd year in the row the showrunners are cynically generating the hype without giving us a pay off with episode's title .And worst yet- with the blood bath of the finale and the show moving to Riverlands next year there is still hope she shows up.

Winterfell:
A clusterfuck. Stannis is grieving over Shireen, then he finds out half of men rode off, then he finds Selyse - who couldn't bear the guilt and hanged herself (which I actually kinda liked, the idea to burn Shireen was unforgivable of the writers to make but this was a good exit for Selyse). And then Melisandre, the idiot, rides off, because apparently it is a surprising and shocking information for her that half the men rode off after they saw their King BURN HIS OWN DAUGHTER ALIVE.

Stannis is pissed off and orders the men to march onto Winterfell. When they arrive it turns out that somehow Boltons knew and the massive army surrounds them. Meanwhile Sansa finally does something and lights that god damn candle. Brienne is standing around waiting for the signal and just as Sansa finally gives it Brienne abandons her post because Podrick alerts her that Stannis is coming.

Can those of you who defend the show no matter what please explain to me what the fuck? Brienne, who obviously as a woman of honor should value her oath to Catelyn to save that poor girl chooses her own dumbass oath above it. The only silver lining here is that this is something that would get her into massive trouble with Stoneheart so as usually, let's give me enough leads to think she is in and torture me for another year.

Sansa is waiting and sees the massive army surround Stannis' troops. That is it. That is the massive Battle of Winterfell the book have a huge build up too. But it gets worse, because Stannis actually loses it. I'd rage and rant but I'm so damn tired.

Stannis is wounded which was painful for me to see. Two Bolton soldiers follow him and Stannis kills them - thank you for the small mercy of giving me something to drool over. Stannis falls down and sits next to the tree. Brienne arrives, tells him who she is and informs him of her oath to kill him for murdering Renly. Stannis doesn't deny it and tells her to do her duty. We see the shot from below of Brienne swinging Oathkeeper. They couldn't even give him a proper death scene.

Back to Sansa she is taking the matter into her own hands because Brienne is too busy killing the hottest man in the world. Sansa runs into Myranda, already armed with bow and arrow and Reek, looking like he is dying inside. Myranda threatens Sansa and Reek finally snaps and pushes that no good psycho of the walls.

In what was probably my favorite moment of the episode Reek takes Sansa's hand and just as Ramsay (oh yeah we got a scene of him killing one of the Baratheon soldiers) is about to ride into castle Theon and Sansa share a look, hold hands and jump off the walls of Winterfell.

If Stannis is dead Gendry better stops rowing because the show has now annihilated one of the four most important houses in the game. Ladies and Gentlemen! The Battle of Five Kings is over! And the winner is Balon Greyjoy as the only one alive! Because the show runners forgot about him and Melisandre conveniently omits the mention of that one leech that didn't work but who cares I mean 2 out of 3 was still enough to kill Stannis' only heir, right?!

Meereen:
Daario, Jorah and Tyrion are sitting in the throne room. We get a humorous scene where Grey Worm - who is apparently gonna outlive Barristan, Stannis, Shireen and what? Jon? - is introduced to Tyrion. After a witty banter Jorah and Daario decide to go looking for Deenerys while Tyrion, Missandai and Grey Worm are to stay behind and rule the city. Are we forgetting there are two more dragons or did the CGI budget run out?

Somewhere Daenerys is trying to train her dragon but Drogon wants to nap or something and ignores her. Daenerys, still in her pretty dress decides to - get this - find dinner. So she walks around and then bam! suddenly thousands of Dothraki arrive and surround her. That was a very well made scene. In the book Dany had diarrhea and kept hallucinating. I'm not shitting you, this is what happened. At least once the show managed to make something better.

And then! Varys, who is in the books showing up in King's Lading and killing whole bunch of people including Kevan who was apparently brought back for 3 scenes this season - ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING AND YOU CANNOT SHOW ME TWO WITH STONEHEART YOU CLOWNS? - shows up in Meereen and well at least it's more of our favorite Varys/Tyrion banter. Not an awful change but I wish Varys had his ninja moment and then went to Meereen. But clearly I'm unable to grasp the ideas of brilliant minds of D&D.

Braavos:
We see more of Trant being a creep and beating up 3 little girls. One of them can really take a punch, so he sends the others away. The girl is creepily crunching on the floor and as she lifts up her face it turns out it is Arya. Arya throws herself on Merryn an in impressively brutal, even for Thrones, scene stabs out Trant's eyes and keeps stabbing him and then she cuts his throat.

After Arya comes back to the House of Black and White some more bizarre shit follows which ultimately ends with Arya going blind as a punishment for her killing someone she wanted dead.

Dorne:
Oh, God. Jaime, Bronn, Myrcella and the Dornish but more feminine looking Jon Snow are finally leaving this shithole. Ellaria kisses Myrcella on the lips and the horny for Bronn one drops this golden line into Bronn's ear "you want to marry the good girl but you need a bad pussy". Emmy nominated writing, boys and girls.

On the ship Jaime clumsily tries to tell Myrcella he is her father but Myrcella already knows and tells him she is glad. Oh good, so she is cool with being the child of incest. Because it's not bad enough the show turned Stannis into Tinder Meine Kinder King, no, now let's make it look like Robert Baratheon was a shit dad and Myrcella prefers to be a child of siblings than his.

Jaime and Myrcella share a hug and the scene works because of Waldau's acting (that show would be in the gutter if it wasn't for the actors and the music) and then all the bonding ends because Myrcella's nose starts to bleed. Then she falls into Jaime's arms and dies. On the docks in Dorne we see the Sand Snakes and Ellaria, whose nose also starts bleeding. The horny for Bronn one gives her a tissue, Ellaria wipes her nose and drinks the antidote from her necklace.

Because apparently neither her nor the dumbass Snakes care their cousin is now in the hands of Lannisters.

King's Landing:
Cersei finally confesses but not to everything - she denies that her kids are hers and Jaime's not Robert's - but she says she did sleep with Lancel. The High Sparrow allows her to return to Red Keep and wait for her trial but only after she atoned. She is to be shaved, scrubbed and then walk naked, through the streets of King's Landing to the Red Keep.

Cersei's hair are cut short by the septas and then she is presented to the crowd and disrobed. In a very long sequence, around 6 minutes long, naked Cersei walks through the enraged crowd. After a while the people start throwing food and what I assume was feces at her, call her horrible names. Cersei starts breaking down and the closer to end the more filthy and crying she is.

She finally gets to Red Keep and Qyburn clothes her as Kevan and Pycelle are shocked at her appearance. Cersei doesn't say a word and is shaking while Qyburn tells her how good it is to have her back. He introduces her to the new member of Kingsguard - freakishly tall knight who apparently took a vow of silence. He takes her in his arms and carries her.

A person who would watch the show passed out drunk would be able to guess who that silent fucker is.

I thought the sequence of the Walk was very well made. It wasn't given the rich context from the books and the character of Cersei was ridiculously whitewashed in the show - in the books she actually sends innocent women to Qyburn to experiment with - but still Cersei has been one of the worst people in the series so far.

Still the show took this chance to hammer in that she is doing this 'for her children' (a reminder only one of them alive at that point) - we had several shots of Red Keep, where Tommen is, and Cersei looking there in the moment of weakness.

Nonetheless it was a difficult and well done scene - almost uncomfortably long. Headey and the body double did the walk and in the shots where we see her completely naked, apparently her face was CGIed onto the double, but I didn't really notice that.

I would have preferred if they kept the thing from the books were Cersei hallucinates she is seeing the people she wronged - including Sansa and Ned Stark (what a wasted opportunity, considering Sean Bean apparently would love to have a cameo). But still, considering how the show usually butchers scenes from the book, this was very well done.

And you gotta give credit to Lena Headey. She was excellent. The cinematography was wonderful too - it was refreshing how the camera didn't shy away and really showed us the nudity and vulnerability of Cersei, especially in this day and age when they censor everything. The walk scene was mostly silent but then near the end Djawadi's Atonement blasts in with its sad version of iconic Rains of Castamere.

It's definitely one of the best and most unapologetic scenes the show has had so far.

The Wall:
We see a scene where Jon tells Sam of White Walkers and then Sam tells Jon he got laid. Jon sends Sam, Gilly and the baby away to Oldtown so that Sam can study in the Citadel.

Melisandre arrives just s Jon refuses Davos' request to send the King some aid. Melisandre, that fucking bitch dares to look apologetic and wordlessly communicates to Davos and Jon the fates of Stannis and Shireen. They are both incredibly shocked.

Then Olly comes in telling Jon that his uncle Benjen (who was featured in 'previously on' segment making a lot of people think that Benjen will actually show up in the episode, how does it feel to be trolled by D&D, huh? And you laugh at as LS fans, here, how did you like it?) was found. Him and Alliser tell Jon they are taking him to the wildling who has seen him.

It turns out there is no wildling, just a cross with the word "TRAITOR" written on it. Alliser Thorne stabs Jon and says "For the Watch" and the other watchers follow stabbing Jon one by one. Jon falls to his knees and Olly comes forward. Jon says his name but Olly stabs him too.

The last shot of the episode is the camera closing in on Jon's lifeless body as blood trails on the snow finally giving us the finale with the proper cliffhanger.

The problem is though, that they are being too cruel when it comes to non book readers. BOOK SPOILERS Jon Snow may have died but he will be back. He is the son of Rhaegar Trargaryen and Lyanna Stark, in unconfirmed but almost completely certain book theory. He is the Azor Ahai reborn, not Stannis. There is a popular theory that Melisandre brings him back - not sure how she is supposed to do that but all right. And now we have her on the Wall. END OF BOOK SPOILERS

This has been a decent finale....for the last 40 minutes of it. I liked that it was tidy - we moved from location to location, rarely moving back and forth. But the first 20 minutes of it, apart from Sansa's scenes was basically just D&D spreading their asses and shitting all over Stannis and his fanbase. It was the most anticlimatic thing ever. Again, you people do not deserve Stephen Dillane on your show.

There are so many people who are dead - Team Dragonstone is now probably gonna be Team Jon. Baratheons - don't fucking remind me. Cersei is down to one kid. Arya is now blind so I bet this is gonna be riveting television, considering what her arc was like when she could actually see.

Season six - Riverlands? Freys? Stoneheart? This season other than Hardhome and few other bits feels like a filler. What exactly was the point of Sansa's arc except for getting raped and being a device that allows Theon to redeem himself? And what is the overall point of Stannis? No, seriously. Because you couldn't even give him the victory and be the guy who saves Sansa. No, you killed him in the woods. Off screen. I'm never forgiving the writers for that one.

Seeing good actors trapped with that material, knowing what was in the books and how great it could have been and seeing what we are given instead is just too much to handle. It pisses me off and it doesn't bring me joy. At least before I had Stephen to marvel that and that is gone.

So I'm just gonna patiently wait for The Tunnel season 2 instead. You know where the writers actually respect Stephen Dillane.

WHAT THE FUCK, BRIENNE?!

Do you see what happens when Stoneheart is not on the show?! Do you see?!

I made three different Stannis gifsets (1,2,3). Because everything hurts and they took him from me. I'm having an emotional and mental breakdown of massive proportions.

Well, it finally happened. GoT has finally reached the bottom and became disgrace.

They killed him. They killed my King.

First they killed his characterization and now they took Stephen in armor from me. They never gave me Stoneheart. I have nothing to enjoy in this show anymore.

RIP Stannis of the House Baratheon, the First of His Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm. The One True King and The Only King I've Ever Loved (2x01-5x07,5x10)

I'm in such pain. I'm in such pain. What was done to Stannis in the last two episodes was just painful to witness. Not even because he was suffering - but because how terrible the writing was.

The audience may be watching, giving the show millions of viewers, but I have never seen more vitriol against the show than directed at that finale. I haven't had the time to read a lot about it - nor do the show presently interests me enough to do so - but according to the news sites I visit people are pissed off.

Good.

The thing that repulsed me the most was as I was reading some article and it said people won't really miss or mourn Stannis because he burned his daughter. D&D took everything, everything from Stannis' fans. They disgraced him. They humiliated him. They had fucking Brienne call Renly a "rightful" king to his face.

I'll not forget that. I will not forgive that. The show cannot even be described as guilty pleasure anymore, because there is no pleasure. The writers have taken everything from Stannis and from his fans. They couldn't even have him die an honorable death because after he sentenced Shireen to die there was no honor. They showed his downfall in the series of rushed, horribly set up scenes. He was such a good man and they wrecked everything. All there is left for me now is hatewatching and ridiculing the show. What they have done to Stannis fanbase is unforgivable. They have tainted everything because there is nothing that can erase the memory of broken Stannis from my mind.

I've seen so many wonderful fans of the show dropping it this season. So many Stannis fans, from both here and tumblr and people who weren't even fans of the show in general, but they decided not to watch. I myself am fast crossing from anger to what gets you to stop watching - indifference. I visit the boards less, I no longer make episode gifs from the show. It's like I'm shell shocked from witnessing just how much crap was done on source material and Stannis' character.

You know how if you ate a really bad chicken and it gave you diarrhea and food poisoning and then you couldn't ever even look at that chicken anymore? 5x09 and 5x10 Stannis arc choices are my Thrones bad chicken.

I listed some of the things which make what happened in 5x09 and 5x10 so dumb in comment section under my recap today:

You know it's not about the series changing events from the books. I liked the books, but come on, it's not some sort of great literature. If the series actually replaced the book plots with something else that was entertaining and better than what was in the books, while at least staying true to the characters, it would be fine. But how the hell are some people defending Jaime in Dorne over Jaime in Riverlands? Brienne's dumbass plot over Brienne in Riverlands? Sansa in Winterfell and two servants over the great Northern Conspiracy, a brilliant plot in book 5? It's just unbelievable.

Oh God, the stupidity this year. Thorne lets in the wildlings and Jon, makes a big deal out of Jon having a good heart and then stabs him doing a whole character reversal an episode later. Same with Selyse - hates her child for 2 seasons but when Shireen burns she feels so guilty that she hangs herself. Same with Stannis who loves his daughter yet burns her even though there are dozens of other options. Same with Brienne who chooses selfishness over her oath to Catelyn. Not only is the writing terrible, it's just inconsistent all around. The characters don't make sense.

Not that the show does - Stannis doesn't hear half his army left in the night. He, the greatest military commander in Westeros, walks on foot to WF. He doesn't send the scouts, the army doesn't walk in formation. Suddenly out of nowhere Boltons show up with gigantic army. Where did they get it? Especially that Roose made such a big deal about being safer in the castle? Why the fuck give the order to get out and meet Stannis in the field? And where was Roose anyways? D&D didn't give a fuck about Stannis vs Boltons enough to even show Roose in the finale at all!

And the logic? What logic?! Stannis walks to WF from Wall for half the season, Melisandre gets from close to WF to Wall in less than one episode.

Ramsay and 20 good men. Bad Pussy. Slapping game between Tyene and Nym - which is apparently something that D&D did with Jason Momoa, ohhhh nostalgia. Ellaria poisoning Myrcella because Ellaria in the show is Cruella de Vill and apparently doesn't care that Doran will kill her for that. The whole North Remembers plot is 2 servants in the show. There are no Northern Lords, in fact it looks like the entire north is just Winterfell and the big fucking field with Stannis standing on it.

Where were the Tyrells? Where did Olenna and Littlefinger go? Where was Pod when Brienne was committing this atrocity? Where the fuck were Melisandre, Davos, the giant and Tormund during the For the Watch scene? AND WHERE IN SEVEN HELLS WAS GHOST?!

Seriously, Ghost was in two scenes this season and one of those was cameo.

Also what the fuck with the budget - the allocation of where the money is going to is awful - did anyone actually saw that Winterfell's direwolf statues have been sewed off? Or that each of those 600 faces Arya was looking at in House of Black and white was different? And why the hell hire Lolys and show her castle if that was for one scene?

They really did hate Stannis. No one will ever convince me otherwise. They could have easily show the battle, but no. Also - there is no way Stannis burns Shireen in the books and very little chance he loses Winterfell battle. It was all 11 year olds trapped in hack bodies imagination.

http://gotgifsandmusings.tumblr.com/post/121872735796/unabashed-book-snobbery-3-got-s5-s-10-most - if you want to read how badly the show fucked up, read this. It's an excellent breakdown on how rich, powerful source material was adapted into bad pussy.

There are people actually enjoying and defending that show and I just have one question - how the hell did Brienne just chose revenge over protecting that girl? That whole plot was idiotic with Brienne standing around WAITING FOR A CANDLE SIGN but honestly leaving that post and then conveniently running into Stannis...you know what I just cannot talk about this anymore.

There is nothing positive in the show now. Before you had Catelyn loving her children. Before you had Stannis love Shireen before they crapped on it. You had Jon and Ygritte, You had Brienne's loyalty to Cat (seriously Brienne you truly should hang for abandoning your post). You had the Northerners and others respect the Starks (that amazing 1x04 ending). You had the Watchers really focused on the threat - the cold, the Walkers. Now all there is in the show is just shock chasing shock, death and shit. The showrunners even said Arya's sword Needle is her symbol of revenge. It's not, it shows her bond with Jon. There is no longer a sense of these people thinking of others (except for Jon and Davos) - they are just serving their own selfish needs. Cersei cares about her children?! Is that why she does what she does to Margaery even though it hurts Tommen? This whole show is an unfunny joke.

There is a difference between a complex character and shit writing. And the latter is now in the show. In the past it was much better - you had Stannis go to Davos because he instinctively knew that sacrificing Gendry would be wrong. What happens this season? Stannis burns his daughter alive, something he would never do in a million years and the D&D still want to go 'we are such smart writers and our characters are complex" route and they give him that moment, born out of ridiculousness when he takes out his sword to fight for the last time all heroic.

This is a good way of showing what is essentially happening here - Martin told D&D the ending and they only care about the ending, not the destination which is actually what's important here. So even though we had fantastic Stannis moment in finale the road to that and the series of scenes given to him in episode 9 and episode 10 was stupidity, travesty and an absolute disgrace.

And they insulted us further by now condemning us to 10 month long debate over 'is he really dead?' because they didn't even show it on screen.

It can get worse. The Boltons can find him and flay his corpse. It revolts me how possible it is in that show. My only hope is that if they send that script to Stephen he tells them to go fuck themselves.

A big part of me is happy because Stephen doesn't need to struggle with this show anymore. And the show didn't deserve him. So many wonderful actors there, just stuck. Jesus Christ, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is so great and he is stuck with such crap material 2 years in the row.

I hoped a bit Brienne would kill him but not after a series of humiliating scenes and not after he lost the battle. Are you fucking kidding me with that battle?! I hoped Stannis will win, redeem himself and fight the Walkers like he intended to. Oh God Brienne. How could you?

And for what? For that asshole Renly?!

Oh God, I'm so disgusted.

The show's directors continue to embarrass themselves. David Nutter came close to Alex Graves' level when he told the interviewer that the moment Stannis dies wasn't show because it would be gratuitous. He said that about the episode where Arya stabs out Merryn Trant's eyes and then repeatedly keeps stabbing him. I just can't. I can't.

We had some lovely things said about Stephen from his co-stars. Stephen of course said nothing. He gives interviews if he has to or really wants to and I can definitely see why he doesn't want to this time. God, they did it to him just as he finally started hanging around with the cast. I can't. I seriously can't.

"“He’s not a movie star, he’s not a film star, he’s a f**king actor and he’s absolutely magnificent to work with and I shall hugely, hugely miss the scenes that I’ve had with him because he’s a master of the truth,” Liam continued. “He just digs and digs and digs. You can see it on the screen. There’s just no bulls**t when you’re working with that man. He’s a joy to work with and it’s all about the writing, servicing the writing, servicing the story. There’s absolutely no ego at work there and I think that’s one of the reasons he’s as wonderful as he is. He’s an extraordinary actor. I miss him. I miss him hugely.”"

Oh God. There will be no more tongue action. Seriously, God, the tongue action. No more expressions. No more Stannis using the words "my lady". No more armor. No more out of character but much appreciated Stannis is really horny moments. No more moments like this. No more Stannis being outraged. No more Stannis smiling.

No more Stannis.

MY KING! MY HERO! MY LOVE!

My only consolation is that hopefully the show will give Stephen exposure and he will be in more things I can watch, thank God there is the Tunnel 2 to look forward to otherwise I'd just go to London and lie on the pavement in front of his house begging him to hold me. I think I may actually do that anyways.

There are people out there who took their hatred and crafted hilarious things from it - this recap and this recap are just absolutely brilliant.

Thank God for Spy. At least this made me laugh. Statham was just beyond brilliant and I cried because I laughed so hard during coat/doorknob moment. I'm really bitter and tired and disenchanted and in no mood to do anything but I'll try to review this one next week. Definitely my favorite McCarthy comedy.

Sicario first trailer is pretty dope!

Get that Oscar nomination Emily!

I've tried making myself feel better this week so behold my new bag, dress and haircut - that's right no more braids. It's inspired by Bryce Dallas Howard's hairstyle in Jurassic World but it came off a bit like Amy Dunne too.Yeah, I don't think that is a coincidence.

Brittani recaps this abomination

Jack and m.brown review Spy

Andrew wonders about Inside Out Oscar chances

Ruth, MettelRay and Courtney review Jurassic World

THIS WEEK WE DON'T SMILE.

RELATED POSTS:

Week 2. I am still at the anger phase about my King dying. Actually depression, bargaining and denial are happening to me too. But there shall never be acceptance. As God is my witness, there shall be none.

So Thrones is getting a panel on Comic Con this year again and D&D won't be there. That's too bad, I was hoping someone is gonna ring that bell and yell "shame!" at them throughout that thing.

Liam Cunningham and Carice van Houten will be there. Stephen is not gonna be there.

He is still in his cave.

Distancing himself from that shit.

Martin is doing the same. Not in his cave but a mansion both by the money earned from our tears.

Why, George? Why out of so many writers in the world you had to chose these ones?

I had so much fun adding some of those. If this mess gets any Emmy nominations for writing I'm gonna laugh my ass off.

Iain Glen is gonna be on CC too, but not SD one, Tampa one. This is great. I don't think he was there before and I bet every single female who gets to that microphone is gonna beg him to call her 'Khaleesi'.

I actually had a dream last week that I met GoT cast and Michelle Fairley was busy taking pictures with cast mates but Iain and Emilia took pictures with me.

God, I'm messed up.

BOOK SPOILERS It''s really mesmerizing how they are trolling people with that whole 'Kit is not coming back' thing. I believe some of the actors are genuinely clueless about the theories. It's also possible that given how D&D love to shit all over the source material they will actually not bring him back. Hey, just look what they did with Winterfell this year. These people are dangerous. END OF BOOK SPOILERS

I just hope someone took Stephen out for a drink. Good Lord, after 3 years they finally let him play in the Sun and this is what happens. These fucks.

I know I was supposed to review Spy but I had really awful week at work again and I'm exhausted. Few times I actually passed out on the bed right after coming home.

The person I work with this month (each month I get two different people who assign me stuff to do) has been super mean to me. I also work with my boss who is really nice but the other person is ruining my month. Seriously it's like the rendition of Miranda Priestly asking Andie if she fell and smack her little head on the pavement (implying she is a moron) all month long. You fucking study for 5 years, you try your best and then you are still treated like an idiot. It's either saying I should know stuff because I've been working in the place for a year (yet no one ever tells me step by step how to write things so I fail to see the correlation between time and knowledge when no one passes knowledge to you, also the little detail - each legal case is fucking different so it's not like you take care of one and you are in the fucking Matrix and you know them all magically), yelling that I read her handwriting wrong or giving me a long talk of how I should be more engaged in my work and try harder.

You know, my dog's hairdresser earns more than me and I am a law graduate. I don't think I'm gonna try any harder at this job. No respect, no trying hard is my motto.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I took a day off today.

That's right no more going to ~~Satan's butthole~~ my office this week.

I noticed that all the men at work are nice to me and nearly all women who are higher up in hierarchy than us, poor assistants, are so mean. Women in general, as species, are really bitchy. Yep, that's what it is. Because while I'm cute and I have little girl's voice I don't think all the guys are nice to me because of that.

While I've been having a shit week, Gustav was enjoying his and got a haircut today. He also has a new girlfriend. Her name is Luna.

My dog has better love life than I do.

No wait. My dog has better life, period, than I do.

I saw Jurassic World and I legit cared more about CGI dinosaurs than people in this movie. Those poor guys were just chillin' on that meadow and that hybrid dino killed them! It was so sad. The film was actually pretty scary for children, I think. I'm still baffled how it earned so much money.

Pratt was good but his character was so cliched. Howard was lovely, I wish she was the one given badass stuff to do. I liked her running in these heels. Girl power! The kiss between her and Chris was super cute but overall the film was forgettable. I need to get my hair color to be like hers. Mine is more 'angry carrot' right now.

I saw Dark Places this week. It was a very faithful adaptation, which after seeing the crap show that was season 5 of Thrones I really appreciated. In spite of being miscast Theron was really excellent. The movie needed better production design and bigger scale but it wasn't a disaster. It's worth seeing if you like Theron and Flynn's books.

I also saw Identity Thief. It was so-so. It wasn't horrible but it wasn't really anywhere near Melissa's other comedies. But I did love her performance - it was so heartfelt and she had incredible moment during the dinner scene.

I'm not sure what Legend is but I will sure as shit see it ----->

Hannibal got canceled and people are disgruntled. I find it very amusing - it was a miracle the show went on as long as it did on NBC. And honestly, it's probably the most overrated series on TV now - last year the atrocious acting of Michael Pitt and the finale that just kept bringing dead people back to life, this year there is barely any plot just Dancy walking around having his bizarre visions. Add to that Gillian Anderson, looking like she is heavily sedated (how is she getting praised for her performance?) and it's truly no wonder there was so little audience tuning in. Memory palace? Abigail showing up to have her throat slit again? Will 'forgiving' Hannibal? It's just so stupid.

Apparently the fans of the show are actually calling Netflix begging them to pick up the show...

I'm not here to judge.

I don't much care, give how Armitage is only gonna be in few episodes and that's it.

Oh him and Dancy are gonna be on Comic Con too.

I'll tell you what is a good show - Penny Dreadful. It took me several months but I finally caught up (seriously if I manage to find one day I'm not tired enough/have the time to watch anything these days it's a miracle - I started watching Daredevil back when it premiered and I am still on episode 6 and it's not because I don't like the show - I really do - but I work 8h a day, study for 2h, play with Gustav whenever I can and collapse and nap for several hours so it's really hard to watch anything other than 1 honest trailer and few scenes with Stephen per evening).

The show is so well written, it actually keeps getting better and better. The performances are so good, the music and the production design are wonderful.

It's also fucking edgy as hell - they killed a newborn, ripped out his heart and put it inside a doll.

The first season's antagonist was kinda weak but season 2 has witches and the main one is played by Helen McCrory who is seriously killing it in everything I saw her in, she is also excellent on Peaky Blinders.

Can Stephen please get on either of those shows?

I haven't seen the premiere of True Detective yet, but surely this can't be as bad as people are saying...yes?

Brittani writes about Veep season finale and the season premiere of True Detective

m.brown and Steven review Spy

Alex writes about fantastic scene from Begin Again

Thaddeus wrote a great post about Gone Girl

Andrew shares his screenplay!

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(183) Stannis love goes mainstream and the adventures of Boo and Pistol + links

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